Thank you for treating me the way you did. You strung my heart along the whole time with no intensions of catching me when I fell. You were always lingering around, only reaching out when it was convenient for you and I was so hooked on you I’d come running back. Every single time and you knew that.
You knew I’d be there at your call without fail, even when I put up a fight. You knew you could just smooth talk your way out of it. You knew if you said what I wanted to hear I would come back, I’d let it go and crawl into your arms, and I did.
But you only let me crawl into your arms when it was convenient for you.
Never once were you there for me when I needed you. When I had a rough day or stressful night at work you were never there for me, you were never there to comfort me. Our ‘relationship’ was solely based on your wants and your schedule, and that isn’t a relationship of any sort, especially not a healthy one.
I might have been blind by love but now I can see clearly through the haze that was clouding my vision. Now I can see through your bullshit.
Now I realize you never gave a shit and I deserve someone who gives a shit.
I would bend over backwards time and time again for you, when you wouldn’t even bend a finger for me. I’d drop plans, wait eagerly for you to text me when you were finished with work and base decisions around the slight ounce of hope you’d want to see me. That little ounce of hope you left me with was what I clung to. I held onto it so tight it hurt me.
So thank you for making me realize now that you never gave a shit about me.
It might have taken me a little time to realize that you were never the one for me. I know now I was forcing something that was never there, no matter how hard I tried we were never going to mesh. I wanted you too much and to you I was only someone to call when you were lonely.
And I am not someone you can just call when you’re lonely. I am so much more than that.
I’m someone who is there for you when you need an ear to listen, I’m someone who is there for you when you’re sick and need someone to bring you medicine. I’m someone who is there for you when you want to sit on the couch all night and eat pizza. I’m someone who is there for you when you want to go to a concert or a NFL game. I’m someone who is there for you through every day things in life. I’m not someone who is only there when it is convenient for you.
It might have taken a while for me to see that with you, but I’m done now.
I deserve someone who will give to me what I will give to them and understand that when I give, I give with all my heart.
You didn’t deserve me, you never deserved me and it took me losing myself in you to realize that.
Thank you for making me realize that isn’t the person I am and thank you for not loving me back because now I know that I deserve someone who gives a shit about me like I do about them.