If you really want to know someone, look past the way they treat you when everything is all sunshine and rainbows. Look past the way they treat you on the first date, look past the cute little texts they send you when they’re in a good mood, and look past the way they act when they’re happy.
Those things are all fine and dandy to know, but those things won’t really teach you who they really are as a person.
If you want to really know someone, get them mad.
Get them mad and see how the react, but more importantly how they treat you because a person’s true colors and character reveal when they get mad.
See if they’re bound to just pack up and leave, see if they become abusive and violent, see if they are completely irrational and mean.
You want to hear the things that come out of their mouth when they’re mad at you because you don’t want to be with someone who is aggressive and vulgar every time they get angry, that isn’t healthy and that surely isn’t good for you.
You might be in a bad relationship with a toxic person and not even know it because you’ve never seen them get angry before.
Placing blame on others is a victim’s mindset; it’s not an empowering and in control mindset.
By getting them mad you expose a part of them they try to keep under wraps. You expose a piece of them that they probably don’t like, but that piece says a lot about them.
I don’t like the way I am when I get angry, but I’ve never taken my anger deliberately out on another person and tried making them feel worthless.
You want to be with someone who can still respect you even when they’re angry at you. If you lack respect at one of your most temperamental and honest states then you’re in trouble. You have to respect your partner and more than that you have to respect yourself, even when you’re angry you have to keep it together for the most part and not act out of spite.
You want to be with someone who can look at you and still tell you that no matter how angry you make them that they still love you.
You want to be with someone who you can have a conversation with about your emotions, even when you’re fired up and angry.
You want to be with someone who can talk through your problems and can try to handle them as calmly as possible. Don’t let your problems go unresolved, don’t let them just fizzle away and “worry about them later” because that won’t fix anything.
You don’t want to be with someone who is petty and out of control. You don’t want to be with someone who starts speaking to you like you’re the dirt underneath their shoes. You don’t want to be with someone who calls you names or puts a hand on you. You don’t want to be with someone who gets violent and aggressive towards others because you can certainly tell a lot about someone in the heat of the moment.
You don’t want to be with someone who gets angry and hurts you, but you’re the one who ends up apologizing.
You don’t want any of that.
Be with someone who can still tell you they love you even when they’re angry, be with someone who will work things out and communicate about your issues instead of jumping down your throat and calling you names.
If you really want to know what someone is like, get them mad because that will be the best judge of character and you’ll really see what you’re working with.