I’ve been there, thinking maybe, just maybe, if I hooked up with him he would like me more. I told myself it would make me more desirable. I thought maybe if we hook up his feelings would change for some unexplainable reason.

But they won’t. And I already knew that.

The first time I had sex I made the guy I was talking to wait seven months. But after seven months he still didn’t love me, let alone like me enough to label our relationship. I thought having sex with him would make me feel better about our relationship, and it didn’t. I thought having sex with him would make him want to take our relationship to the next level, and it didn’t.

The only thing he liked more about me was now he could have sex with me.

Sleeping with him won’t change his mind about anything. Sleeping with him won’t make him realize he can’t live his life without you. Sleeping with him won’t make him want to wake up next to you every morning for the rest of his life. Sleeping with him won’t make you want to do any of those things. Sleeping with him won’t make him stay.

You’ve got to stop hoping it can become something more, stop hoping that sex will change him and stop banking that there could be future potential because the reality of it is if he wanted future potential he would make it known.

By sleeping with him you really just gave him all he wanted. He had you; he got what he wanted and now really has no other reason to stay hanging around. He has nothing more to imagine or curiosity lingering around in his mind about you. He got what he wanted because you hoped it would make him stay.

He might have seemed so genuine and interested, he might have said convincing words and he might have told you empty promises to feel like he’s gained your trust. You really wanted him, you wanted to feel desired by him, so you gave in and he got what he ultimately wanted.

If he really wanted to know you, to make plans with you, he wouldn’t have tried to get to know you in bed.

He would have wanted to know who you are as a person. He would have wanted to know where you come from and what makes you smile from ear to ear. He would have wanted to know what your guilty pleasures are and how much food you can eat. He would have wanted to know the more meaningful stuff, the things you can only learn by spending time with someone.

Sleeping with him won’t make him want to learn about you. You could be everything he has ever wanted in a girl, but if he isn’t interested in a relationship it doesn’t matter who you are. He’s made up his mind.

Don’t sleep with him because he bought you something. Don’t sleep with him because you feel guilty. Don’t sleep with him because you feel you have something to prove. Don’t sleep with him because you want him to like you because it won’t work.

Men will do crazy things to get a woman to sleep with him, don’t fall into the trap, don’t be the one who thinks you can change him, because you can’t. Sleeping with him won’t make him stay, so please, only do it if you’re ready because either way you’re giving him everything he wants. And sleeping with him won’t make him like you, especially not after your clothes are back on.