I’m a forever kind of person because if I’m going to invest in something I want to wholly invest in it. I’m not a half ass two things kind of person; I’m a whole ass one-thing kind of person because if you don’t put your whole heart into something then there is no point in pursuing it.
I don’t want mediocre relationships that will fizzle and fade. I want realistic relationships that will last forever, not even only pertaining to love, but with friendships and relationships in general.
I want to be surrounded by people who make my heart pound and skip a beat because their presence makes me so happy. I want to be around people who inspire me and make me want to be better and do better. I want to be around people who I know will be there for me forever through the thick and thin because I will absolutely be that person for them. I want to be surrounded by people who actually want to be around me and don’t leave me wondering where I stand with them.
I want to be the old couple one day sitting on my front porch swing looking at the man next to me knowing this is my forever and knowing that I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. I want to fall in love with him over and over until we’re old and gray. But I don’t want to stop doing things for each other, even when we’re 80 I still want to love like we’re 30.
I want to be head over heels, and I know it’s possible because I’ve seen it. I’ve seen a man order his wife’s favorite food even after she’s passed because he couldn’t stand eating alone and her meal made him remember her. I’ve driven past the couple who spent every single summer day in their yard swing together rocking back and forth talking about life. I’ve seen old men still carry their wife’s tray and pay for her meals.
I know that forever kind of love exists and I want it.
I want to be old and gray and still talk to my friends from childhood or college. Even though we won’t be as young and reckless as we once were I still want to reminisce over the good times. I want to laugh at the hungover kids that walk in our favorite coffee shop on the weekends talking about all they did the night before, like we’ve all done so many times before.
I don’t invest in relationships I know won’t last because to me there is no point. When I want something I want it for good and I want it forever. Maybe that’s why I’m still on my own in terms of my love life.
I’ve had people come and go, but no one I could really see a future with and to me that isn’t worth investing in. I don’t want to wind up getting my heart broken if I know it isn’t going to last, if I know he won’t be rocking beside me in the future.
I want people in my life that make forever seem too short. I only want forever relationships because when I’m old and gray, I want the people by my side who have been there for everything. That is when it matters most.