I went to your old apartment yesterday and it wasn’t the same. I know I was there a few short weeks ago and so were you. You came back to visit, but even then it just didn’t feel right. You weren’t really you, at least the you I’ve grown to love, or used to love. I looked at you and didn’t see the person I used to do everything with. The person that I used to confide in; the person that used to support me, every single day. Where did that person go?
You’ve been gone for almost two years now and I can’t be upset over that. I’m not upset over that. You had to move on; I get it. Soon it will be my turn to leave this small town we both called home. You had a great opportunity you had to take and I was so happy for you, even though it killed me hearing those words. I was put on a fake smile for you. But you leaving changed you and I don’t know if it changed you for the best.
The person I used to know was so fun. You used to put your friends before everything. You were the person I could count on when I wanted to drink in the morning, or watch a movie with at night. You were the person I knew would order pizza with me no matter what time it was and always be up for a spontaneous adventure. We did everything together and I had the best times because of you. You were one of the best things that ever happened to me in this small town.
I wanted more time with you. When you were here with me everything was fun. Nothing was too serious and I always knew I could count on you for having a good time. You brought people together and you brought out the best in everyone. People looked up to you, people wanted to be around you. Maybe they still do, maybe you’ve made that impression on your new friends in your new home.
You came back a few weeks ago and I looked at you and I didn’t recognize you anymore. Your brown eyes were blank, I didn’t know what to say to you and you didn’t say anything to me. You didn’t introduce me to your new girlfriend. You didn’t catch me up on your life. You didn’t tell me how your job is going. You didn’t even ask how I was doing. There was just an awkward silence building between us.
It breaks my heart; I used to know everything about you.
You used to come back home and surprise me, every time. You used to never tell me if you were coming back to town and just show up. You knew it would make my week every time, and it did. It always did.
Now you still don’t tell me when you’re coming to visit, you just show up. But there is no more surprise visits, no more calls when you get to town, no more catching up. There is nothing.
I can’t wrap my mind around the person you’ve become because you are not the person I used to know. I know that person is still there though. I just don’t know if I’ll ever see him again, because you are too wrapped up in the new life you live.
I want you to know I’m thankful for the person you were; the person I spent nearly every day with. You were incredible and I’ll always miss the old you. I’ll always remember the old you when I think back to this part of my life. The new you just doesn’t seem compatible for me anymore, and that’s okay. I’ve always got the memories of who we used to be and those are the memories I’ll cherish.