Look, we’ve been seeing one another for a few months now, perhaps too soon to have have figured it all out, but certainly long enough to have learned a thing or two about our vibe and energy and whether or not our future holds promise. So I wanted to take some time to write you. To let you know how I feel about you, how I feel around you, and what I see for us in the years ahead. I have always believed that it’s important to be upfront and honest about your intentions, particularly in new relationships where misunderstandings are prevalent and far more destructive, and you are the very last person in the world I would want to hurt or leave in the dark, so, without further delay, here are a couple of things I wanted you to know.
1. Since you, I’ve found I no longer dwell on the past or feel any resentment toward it at all. In fact, I am grateful for every rejection, heartbreak and betrayal for the part they all played in leading me here. I am grateful to every cheat, travesty, liar and fool in my past for the joy and the privilege that is belonging to you. Loving you has liberated me of loathing and pettiness and I find myself free, for the very first time in my life, to be completely and spectacularly present.
2. Should I ever lose you, more than anything else, it will be the quality of our conversations I will miss the most. Their genius, their wildness and all of the weird and wonderful worlds they lead us to. The way we speak of anything and everything, from long dead stars to the meanings of dreams, to the foreign cities we long to visit, and discuss at length our innermost secrets and all of our anxieties and aspirations, always leaves me feeling replenished and ready to face another day. I could talk on and on with you forever, and I’m not sure I’ll ever find someone else who can challenge and captivate me the way you do.
3. I know you’re not supposed to look to other people to save you, but whenever I am around you, the world becomes simple. My moods lift and the skies shift from smoke and smog to the softest blue. I know I’m meant to save myself, but the fact is, with you, I don’t have to.
4. From morning to midday to afternoon to nightfall, I never grow weary of wanting you. Always, and often at the most unsuspecting of times, I am struck down and dismantled by a lethal desire and suddenly nothing can bring me near enough to you. No friction of skin or shortness of breath, no tangling of bones or pressing of lips can satisfy all of the senseless ways that I want you.
5. Call me crazy, but there is something strangely familiar about the two of us. The scope and depth of our connection suggests that it was forged long before you and I were ever here. And all of our strengths and flaws compliment one another easily and gently without resistance or friction. Every moment with you feels like I have been welcomed home with grand parades and open arms — as though we have spent whole eternities apart and adrift in the void, searching all of the heavens and earth, only to find each other, here in this lifetime, once more.
6. Settling down would be a poor choice of phrase to describe what it means to devote all of my days to you. I don’t have to sacrifice experiences or excitement for your affections, every moment with you is another opportunity for mayhem and misadventure. And I have never once felt pressured to rein in my silliness or soften my edges, in fact, you encourage and move me to take them even further — to embrace all my wildness with both of my arms and become a more spontaneous and thrilling version of myself. There is not a corner of the world I will not explore with you. No thrill I wouldn’t seek. And by the time our lungs have breathed their last, I want our story to be the most captivating the world has ever seen.
7. I want worlds for us, I really do. I have never known a joy more elegant or effortless than the one I have found with you. Our energy is infectious, the chemistry is wild, and your crazy and my crazy are perfectly aligned. I am positively convinced we were written in the stars, and if not, I will carve our names into the sky myself.
You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, darling.
And in case you’re ever wondering,
I’m all in.