An Open Letter To The People Who Don’t Think They’re Beautiful

Dear beautiful,

You’re beautiful but you don’t know it. I’m assuming it’s because that’s what they told you? Or how they made you feel? Because you didn’t meet their standards of “the pretty woman” and it was all that mattered anyway. Was it the way they praised the pretty girl beside you, and murmured fat ass when you walked away? Or was it the way they said you were too skinny to be sexy, and you needed to “eat”? You knew for sure that’s exactly what you’ve been doing, and so you struggle to comprehend. Did they tell you that you wore too much makeup, but complained that you looked too tired without any on? Did you hear them laugh about your non-existent cleavage, or those “watermelons” you call breasts? Now you keep on wondering if you’re ever more than just a body part. Did they define you according to your color, your race, or your continent of origin? Because according to them, there was no way that can be beautiful, right? And so you believed them.

When you look at yourself in the mirror, through whose eyes is it? Yours or theirs? Tell me, who made them powerful enough to dictate what is acceptable, beautiful, and appealing to your eyes? Who gave them the right to make a beautiful girl feel bad about herself, just because she was “a 5 out of 10”? Who are they, and why do they feel entitled to put you down? Why do you let them? Stop seeing yourself through their prejudiced eyes. Stop letting society’s impossible expectations bring you down. Stop concerning yourself with the standards of others when the only standards you should be conforming to are your own.

Whenever you don’t feel beautiful in your skin, remember that it is not only because of what you take in from the world, but also because of what you undervalue in yourself. You’re only as beautiful as you believe, and at the end of the day, no one else’s opinion is going to matter. People are going to insult you, and criticize you, and judge you for things you have no control over. People are going to say mean things and reject you for your luck in the genetic lottery. People are going to convince you through their words and actions that you are not good enough. Fight the urge to believe them and resist the manipulation because, really, how would they know what you are?

As tempting as it may be, don’t get caught up in a culture that puts you down. Remember that you have the power and the choice to tune out the negativity towards you, and that we’re ALL flawed and awkward and little ugly ducklings inside. Even the epitomes of conventional beauty feel the same from time to time. And those “perfect” people? They only seem perfect because they don’t show you everything. Heck, I can even go as far as they’re only perfect because they’re on Instagram. The people behind your insecurities are the very people who share the same feelings with you. We’re all just human beings. The only difference between you and them is the amount of acknowledgement they get from society. But then again, that isn’t beauty. That is just approval. So yes, you are beautiful. They just don’t tell you.

From here on out, filter what you listen to, what you see, and what others try to make you feel. You have no space for people and things that keep you from appreciating and loving yourself the way you should. You have no time for conventions that tell you where you stand in the man-made hierarchy of beauty. By now, you should know it on your own. You may be unconventional, but you are beautiful just the same. Believe it. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

featured image – Caterina Appia

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