He is leaving, and you are staying.
You must be tired of the endless questions: What are you going to do when he leaves? Are you going to try and make it work? Are you sad?
Everyone tells you that breaking up is the only good option. It will save you from the days and nights of long distance, from the difficulty of being apart, and from the constant paranoia of him finding someone else. And even if it did work, what’s the point? This time next year you will be heading out into the world too. Then what?
But you don’t want to lose him. Someone who has become a vital part of your life. Your boyfriend, your best friend, suddenly vanishing all at once. You want to make it work. Of course, you do. You don’t want a life without him in it. Every part of your body is urging you to fight for him, to hold on. However, it won’t work. Because you know no matter how much he loves you, college is change. You love him too much to hold him back and you know that.
You constantly think about how much easier this would be if you were leaving too. You think the distractions of a new start would ease the pain of losing him. But you aren’t. You will still be here, in the same place, and he will be gone. And secretly, you resent him for this. You resent the fact that he is leaving you behind.
And it will hurt. You will see him in the places you used to go, and the restaurants you used to eat in. And when you hear that one song you know was his favorite, you will cry. But eventually, you will grow. You will learn to love being alone again, and you will flourish.
You will see him again and still have nothing for love for him. You will be glad that it turned out this way. And so will he.