Here’s The Thing: I Want More

It’s no secret how I feel. As a matter of fact, it’s almost embarrassing at this point because everyone knows that I love you—even you know it—but we’re stuck in the same place. A year and a half ago, you took me home with you. What began as a one-night stand has turned into something much more, whether you acknowledge it or not. If I would’ve known then what I know now, I may have chosen differently.

Things seemed like they were progressing.

We went from you asking me to have beers with you a couple nights a week, walking me to my car, giving me a kiss goodnight, texting me first, and reaching out to me when you wanted to see me to something entirely different. You began reaching out to me and asking me to come over when terrible things began happening to you. I was there. I was there in all the times that you didn’t necessarily deserve for me to be, but I was. I was there because regardless of our title, I felt what I felt for you.

I was happy with where it seemed like we were going.

You’ve admitted to caring about me and having feelings for me but not wanting a relationship right now. I was right there with you. I was very transparent about my past relationship and the fact that I was nowhere near ready as well. But that’s suddenly changed for me. It’s been a year and a half and yet here I still am. I’m still here, and I still only want you. But things have slightly changed. You don’t reach out as much anymore. When I ask, you apologize for being busy and then suddenly make the time for me. I need more.

So, here’s the bottom line.

I love you. I want more than what we’re doing. I think I have for a while, but I’ve been too afraid to admit it or say anything to you. I know where this conversation with you is going to go, and the thought of not having you at all is terrifying. But I have to do this. I need to do this for me. I deserve more out of this.

So, here’s your ultimatum: It’s been over a year. You know me. You either want me or you don’t. You either want the intimacy, affection, caring, fun, and thoughtfulness to continue or you don’t. I need you to make a decision because at this point, I. Want. More. Make your decision and choose wisely. You’re either in or you’re out.

I want you. I want all of you. You either want it all too or you need to let me go. For good. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Indiana University. B.A. English.

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