There is absolutely no shame in becoming that girl for him. As a matter of fact, you’d rather be that girl for him. You’d rather be the girl he calls when shit hits the fan than not. You’d rather be the girl he wants to talk to about what’s going on his life than someone else. You’d rather be the girl he calls to vent to than just a piece of ass. He can get that anywhere, but you’re offering him more.
You’ve become his go-to.
You’ve become the girl that gets a call at 4:30 a.m. and not just because he’s drunk. You’ve become the girl that gets that call and instantly panics because you already know something is wrong even before you answer it. You become the girl who knows when you answer, you’re not going to like what you hear on the other side. You hear sadness, worry, anxiety, and fear. You hate that you can hear all of these things in his words. Even worse, you hate that you can feel them too. Your heart breaks for him. He delivers his news and his purpose for calling.
You discover that he basically wrapped his truck around a pole. You jump straight up. You feel your stomach drop. You feel worry all the way to your toes. You hope he’s alright. You’re filled with question after question, but instead you just let him talk. He tells you all about it and how stressed out he is. You offer logical advice and he continues to vent. As he continues to vent, you realize he’s dealing with much more than you originally thought. You lend your ear because apparently that’s what he needs and he needs it from you. You leave your questions to yourself because they’re not worth asking. You just want him to keep talking because you have never had him need you like this before.
“Can you please come over?”
You don’t even need him to ask it again. You already have your shoes on and your purse around your body. “Of course I will.” He needs you and this is not something that happens often. Not only are you loving the fact that he needs you, but you’re willing to be whatever he needs in this moment to make whatever he’s feeling a little bit easier. You don’t pay any attention to what it is you’re wearing, but you probably should have. Elephant pajama shorts aren’t too great of an idea for winter apparel in Northwest Indiana. You get in your car and go.
When you arrive, you’ll discover that the look on his face instantly matches the feelings you heard in his voice and in his words. You just want to hug him and kiss him all over. You both lay in bed and everything goes quiet. He pulls you close and wraps his arm around you. He kisses your forehead and says, “Thank you.” Confused, you respond, “For what?”
“For being here.”
And right there is when it’ll all seem worth it. You’ll know that answering his call no matter what time it was, was worth it. You’ll know that it didn’t matter what you wore over there, you just needed to go. You’ll know that the past few months of going back and forth was totally worth it.
He’s not anywhere near perfect most days. He pisses you off more days than he makes you smile. He drinks too much sometimes. He doesn’t necessarily listen to everything you have to say, and he can be a real asshole. But this is the moment where all of that is completely and 100 percent worth it.
He needed you and you were there. Continue to be there and be that girl.