I’m Not Perfect And I’m Not Whole, But I Promise To Love You With All My Heart

By Ashley Kestle

I’m terribly sorry. Maybe everything is smiles and laughs and love right now, but you must know that you’re getting into a mess.

I cannot claim to be perfect and whole, which is what you may see. But I promise to love you with all my heart.

I cannot take this lightly, and I suggest you don’t either. Love isn’t something that comes easily to everyone, and I can’t say that it comes easily to me either. But know that I accept you unconditionally. And once you’ve earned that, you can be positive you have my entire heart.

But with that comes all of my insecurities not only with you, but the ones that have built up my entire life. Every romantic relationship I’ve seen in my life has failed. I’ve grown to understand that people don’t work out – people won’t work out.

I’ve seen betrayal and hurt and sadness much deeper than I can being to comprehend. I’d like to think this is why I feel so deeply.

Please understand that, through all of these insecurities, I just need your reassurance.

I’m independent – don’t doubt that – but know that if I’m giving everything to you, I need to know that you’ll do the same. I need the emotional depth that I’m giving you.

I will cry. A lot, actually. I’ll cry from movies, books, romantic quotes, and probably from you. It’s not because I’m sad or because you’ve done something wrong, it’s because I feel so deeply. I care, and sometimes I can argue that I care way too much, if there is such a thing.

Don’t try to stop the tears, just be there. I guarantee I will cry because I’m overwhelmed by my feelings; quite often it will be because I’m overwhelmed by my love for you. As cheesy, romance-novel-esque that it sounds, it’s undeniable. I don’t need to be told that everything will be okay, I just need to know that you will be there at the end of it.

Know that I love you. I will be sweet and kind, mean and jealous, but I will love you through all of it. I will always apologize, and I will always stick around. I pray that you do the same.