I Can See Myself Falling For You, And That Terrifies Me

I Can See Myself Falling For You, And That Terrifies Me

I don’t think I have been more scared of anything before you came into my life. I also don’t think that there is anything that I’ve wanted nearly as bad as I want you, and that’s what makes loving you so terrifying.

Having you and being loved by you would imply that I could also lose you. I don’t want to know what that would feel like, because I know that your absence would come with a lot of pain.

Loving you is something I tried not to do, because I know that I can’t be the only person falling for your perfect smile, your blue eyes and your humor. I know that you could probably do better, and why you continue to talk to me goes beyond my understanding.

Loving you is scary, because I know that if I lose you, I would lose a big chunk of my heart and my happiness. I’ve read enough poetry to know that nothing hurts worse than that, than losing someone you still want to hold so close, yet my heart accepts you into it more and more with every passing day.

My brain is showing me warning signs and my heart keeps telling me that you’re worth it all.

It’s becoming more obvious that falling for you is inevitable, and the thought brings fluttering butterflies to my stomach, and I never want this feeling to end. I just have to hope that you won’t ruin me in the way I know you could.

I find so much comfort in your arms, knowing that you’re falling for me as well, and I never want this to end. This moment, this feeling, the endless possibilities we have—I don’t want any of it to disappear.

I’m forcing myself to live in the present so that I can enjoy this free fall, although I know the fear of losing you will always be in the back of my head. I love you and it’s terrifying, and I hope you’re willing to reassure and comfort me forever. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

About the author

Ashlee Valentin