love tank gary chapman

This Is What Your ‘Love Tank’ Is, And Why Successful Couples Pay Attention To It

Think about what your current partner or ideal partner brings or would bring to your life. What do they do or what do you wish they did which would help you feel so special you’d do anything to be with them?

Do they notice when you have a different nail color? Do they give you their undivided attention while speaking with them? Do they sit close to you and shower you with hugs and kisses?

Do these activities make you feel full of love or do you still feel unfulfilled with your relationship?

What is a Love Tank?

Dr. Gary Chapman coined this term in his book, The Five Love Languages, where he states every person has a love tank. One’s love tank is full when you feel extraordinary amounts of love coming from your partner. The issue is it empties a little every single day, so you must find ways to replenish it.

Because of this, your partner and you have to always remember why you chose to love each other and what you can do to treat the relationship like the first few dates you went on.

Why Is This Important?

I have never met anyone who didn’t want to be in a long-term relationship or be married. Because of this, it’s super important to fill your partner’s love tank by paying attention to what they react too.

Think back to the beginning of your relationship, when more than likely, your partner paid attention to the little things and knew what you liked and didn’t like? As a man, I can say the beginning of relationships are when I’m most alert. I dress up while on dates, ask questions, and am laser focused so I can fully understand what the woman loves and dislikes.

The issue with this comes when I, just like many of us, stop doing this. The woman I’m dating has no reason to stay with me when I don’t remember to do the smallest things I did at the beginning to fulfill her.

Most people are not consciously aware of what their partner wants and needs. For example, I have an ex-girlfriend who wanted to spend time with me often. I didn’t get the hint and more often than not, I’d push away and tell her about all the other things I needed to do which took me away from her. Because of this, she became my ex.

I didn’t give her what she needed to feel loved and fill her love tank. Instead, I slowly allowed it to empty until one day, she didn’t want to keep the relationship going, but who could blame her?

The Solution

The reason successful couples pay attention to their partner’s love tank is because that is the only way they will make the relationship last. What is important to you may not be important to your partner. What you want to do in your free time may not be what your partner wants to do. What makes your partner happy might be annoying to fulfill when you’re a year into the relationship.

You have to be willing to always find what makes your girlfriend or boyfriend feel like the one of a kind person they are. Relationships make life amazing, and if you always find new ways to show your partner love, your life will be worth it. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

People lover. Donut lover. Treat Life like a Big Experiment.

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