man wearing blue top facing glass door

You Can Love A Broken Man, But You Can’t Fix Him

You’re a deep lover. Your empathy makes it easy for you to understand other people’s emotions. You look for opportunities to give second and third chances. You find satisfaction in helping people through difficult times, especially those you care about.

It’s no surprise that you attract men who need healing. When it comes to love, remember that a partner also brings you healing. You’re not required to save everyone, nor can you. You can love a broken man, but you can’t fix him.

A broken man is never truly happy. He won’t admit it, but you’ll see it in the way he treats you. You’ll see it in the way he speaks to and about you. He can’t stand looking at you. He knows you deserve better. Your happiness reminds him of his misery and abusing you makes him feel powerful.

A broken man is emotionally unavailable. He keeps you at a distance. He’s not willing or able to communicate effectively. He holds back, he’s guarded. He’ll sabotage the relationship by making the littlest things more difficult than they need to be.

A broken man doesn’t take responsibility for his life or his happiness. He refuses to do the work. He blames the world for everything negative that’s happened to him.

A broken man makes you question your worth, feel ashamed and crazy. He sends you through emotional turmoil. He drains your soul. A broken man doesn’t love himself, so he can never fully love you. You believe in him more than he believes in himself. You spend more energy trying to love him than you spend loving yourself.

You can love a broken man, but you can’t fix him.

He has to want to do the work. He has to see the value of holding himself to a higher standard. You can send him a stack of self-improvement books. You can link a thousand inspirational videos, journal prompts, and workbooks, but it won’t fix his brokenness unless he wants to.

Sometimes loving him means letting go and loving yourself. You’ve tried, supported, and been patient. You aren’t giving up on him as he may accuse. You’re making room for yourself. He has to be present in his recovery or you’ll end up digging up old wounds.

It hurts to leave because you know what it’s like to feel alone. You don’t want to give up on him, but you’ve done all you can. What’s left now is to pray. Pray that he’ll receive healing from past hurts. Pray that you’ll receive peace no matter the outcome. You can love a broken man, but still, you can’t fix him.

About the author
I write for women in recovery, empaths and light bearers. Follow Arlene on Instagram or read more articles from Arlene on Thought Catalog.

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