You aren’t asking too much. You aren’t being unreasonable. You’re only experiencing what it means to be human.
We take the path of least resistance. We do what comes easy. We won’t push ourselves past our comfort zones without effort. We don’t jump into the abyss of fear. We’re constantly trying to protect ourselves from the unknown.
That’s why he’ll try to pull a fast one on you if you let him.
Not might, not maybe, but will. There’s curiosity in seeing what we can get away with. It might not happen right away—in fact, at first, it might be bliss. Then old habits come into play. The initial euphoria, the challenge, the lust, the newness of it all short circuits any fear or thinking before toppling back into complacency.
He defaults to what feels comfortable, to what takes less energy. It can be calculated or it can be innocent and unintentional. This is the way our brains work.
Maybe he used to call or text you consistently but doesn’t anymore.
Maybe he used to try to impress you but no longer makes an effort.
Maybe he used to speak to you kindly but now is impatient and frank.
The thing is, we have to make a continuous effort to maintain these desired behaviours when they’re unfamiliar to us. They take energy; they take work. Then something inspiring happens, it becomes easier or you develop muscle. It becomes a habit, not something daunting. Never let anyone make you believe you’re asking for too much when they just don’t want to make the effort.
Never be afraid to stand your ground about what you want and are willing to accept. He’ll accept the challenge or he won’t.
He might use tactics like shame, anger, guilt, withdrawing love, and comparison to try to change your mind. Recognize these for what they are and stay true to what feels right for you.
We often try to subdue people’s emotions instead of realizing they’re allowed to have their outburst.
Our job is to hold steady. Hold your light steady in the midst of people trying to push your boundaries. In the midst of people trying to make you feel less than. In the midst of feeling unconventional.
He’ll try to pull a fast one on you if you let him. When it comes, smile and remember this. Remember that it’s natural to want to take the path of least resistance. Remember that it’s not always intentional, it comes from survival instincts. It comes from fear.
Stay true to how you want to be treated. You deserve to be treated with love and respect in case you didn’t know.
The people who belong in your life will make room to be there. He’ll try to pull a fast one on you if you let him, so know your worth and don’t be afraid of it.