1. You have difficulty falling asleep.
General insomniac issues aside, if you find yourself tossing and turning a majority of nights, it might mean something’s up. At night, the thoughts we tend to effectively silence during the day pop back up. Down deep, you know it isn’t right. And it’s ruining your sleep schedule.
2. You don’t speak up when they do something that bothers you.
And that’s because you don’t trust this person’s reaction. You’d rather just stay quiet and push things aside. THIS IS BAD. Things never go away, they just get buried. Trust me, stuff always rises to the surface. Arguments suck, but if you’re with someone you’re afraid to be open and honest with, that’s a huge red flag.
3. You don’t ask for what you want sexually.
Sex is weird. I mean, don’t get me wrong, it’s awesome. But it’s also incredibly vulnerable. Not being sexually satisfied isn’t necessarily a sign you’re with the wrong person. But not feeling comfortable enough to talk about it? That’s rough. I know it’s awkward and so many of us are conditioned to not be real about sex, but you need to be. The right partner wants to make you feel good. The right person is also someone you’re able to communicate with about those specific needs.
4. You never hang out with them and your friends at the same time.
You keep things very separate. Could it be because you’re afraid your friends will see something you don’t want to admit? Maybe you’re looking to avoid opinions you aren’t ready to face.
5. You feel drained after being with them.
You walk away from time together exhausted, not energized. It feels more like an obligation rather than something you look forward to.
6. You’re not even disappointed when they cancel plans.
Sometimes you’re relieved. If you’d rather stay at home and watch The Office for the 183928th time instead of hanging with them, you’re not with the right person.
7. You only dress for them.
You wear what they like, not what you personally enjoy. It sounds materialistic, but style is one of the ways we express ourselves. If you’re trying to impress them without ever taking your own taste into account, that’s worrisome. Wanting to look good for someone you’re digging is one thing. Abandoning the stuff you enjoy just because they don’t? That’s another.
8. You’re always trying to justify the relationship.
You’re an expert at making excuses for behavior. Your natural stance is one of defense. ME THINKS THE LADY/MAN DOTH PROTEST TOO MUCH. For real, you’re trying too hard. Things should click. It shouldn’t feel like some prepared Power Point presentation that you’re showing everyone hoping they’ll jump onboard. It should be natural.
9. You have very different long-term goals.
It’s not super romantic to say, but love isn’t enough. Relationships require commitment and compatibility. If you both want drastically different things, this is probably the wrong person to invest your heart in.
10. You neglect your passions.
A relationship is not enough to sustain a person. You need to cultivate your own interests. Ask yourself, why have I stopped doing this thing I love?
11. You feel like something is off.
Sounds simplistic, but never forget how important it is to listen to your gut. Even if it doesn’t always make sense or feel like something you can fully understand. Your gut tends to be right. So if something feels off, it probably is.