The Best Relationships Are The Ones You Didn’t Expect

Twenty20 / @batoshka

We put a lot of expectations on romance. Whether it’s the influence of movies, books, or relationship dynamics we saw growing up, there’s a lot we pin onto the idea of love. We think we know what it looks like, smells like, that we will ABSOLUTELY be able to recognize it the second it shows up.

Maybe that’s true. Maybe we can. Love is one of those things that isn’t always explainable. We know when it arrives.

But the best relationships aren’t the ones we’ve been planning. They aren’t the ones we have clipped to vision boards and spend hours day-dreaming about.

The best relationships are the ones that come as a surprise, when your feelings totally sneak attack you.

There you were, just walking along, minding your own business. All of a sudden, something (or someone) appears out of nowhere. A person you didn’t expect. A situation you couldn’t have predicted. You weren’t even looking for them!

But you can’t deny it. That growing fire in your belly. Those uncaged butterflies are flying all around your ribcage. It happens without rhyme or reason. It just happens. Like gravity, some unseen magnetic pull, you’re unable to stop it.

The best relationships continue to surprise you. They don’t always fit into a neat pre-packaged plan. Sometimes they are messy and inconvenient. They have issues and flaws and things that require work and dedication. They’re dynamic, always changing and growing.

Sure, it’s nice when we get the things we want. It’s lovely to yearn for something so long only to have it land right in your lap. Of course. Of course that’s nice.

But the moments we most remember? The relationships, the people, the situations that we find ourself re-telling for years to come?

Those were often the things we didn’t know we wanted. We had no idea they were just around the corner. Because we didn’t know they existed. How could we?

The best relationships are the ones you didn’t know could exist. And then, miraculously, they do.

They exist.

And they exceed even the most perfectly crafted dream. They are better than anything you could have written yourself. Because they’re real. And you never even saw them coming. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

For more of Ari’s writing, order her book of poetry Bloodline.

✨ real(ly not) chill. poet. writer. mental health activist. mama shark. ✨

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