Your Refusal To Let Go Of Past Love Is Keeping You From Future Love

God & Man
God & Man

Letting go might be easy in concept, but it’s difficult in execution.

It’s something we talk about all the time. We discuss the right way to do it; we mention its importance. A yoga instructor may tell you to let go of anything that is troubling you, to focus on your breathing and let everything else wash away. A friend may tell you to let go of a fickle lover, to focus on yourself and stop investing in people who don’t see your worth.

Perhaps you even tell yourself to let go. Let go of people who hurt you, who betrayed you. Let go of relationships that didn’t work out or the almost-somethings that sting more so because they were never actualized. Let go of the embarrassment or the bad job interviews. Just let go, right?

But letting go is hard. It requires practice and dedication and the uncomfortable realization that you need to let go.

And knowing we need to do something is never very fun.

Holding onto a past love, as good intentioned as it may be, will not serve you well in the long run.

Loving someone is beautiful. Even when it fails. Even when it hurts and is wrong for you and turns out to be someone who is just a passing moment. Whenever we love, it’s worth remembering. But it’s not worth obsessing over.

If you are so stuck thinking about the past, you will never give your future an honest chance.

If you’re desperate to cling on instead of letting go, you’ll never have the opportunity to see how wonderful this world can be. Love is not a singular experience. It can happen again and again, and again. But if you refuse to see it, if you decide to think about what you used to have instead, sure, you won’t get that happy ending.

Letting go does not mean forgetting. Anyone who tells you that doesn’t understand how memories work. They last. They stick with us, sometimes whether we want them to or not!

Letting go does not mean erasing your mind of all that came before. Letting go just means giving yourself permission to start again.

Letting go means something else might come along. Letting go means that tender love you had could exist again. It might look different. It might feel different. But it can exist, if you let it.

If you let go, you’re saying, “I’m ready for something new to start.”

So, I guess the question remains.

Are you? Thought Catalog Logo Mark

About the author

Ari Eastman

✨ real(ly not) chill. poet. writer. mental health activist. mama shark. ✨

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