5 Couples Explain Why They Broke Up (And Why They Got Back Together)
We didn't break up because we stopped loving each other or caring. But it just all became too much. We took separate time to figure some of our shit out, but still kept in touch as friends. But it became clear we would never just be friends and, even when things were tough, our lives…
By Ari Eastman
1. “We were together all four years of high school. When college time came around, we got into schools on opposite sides of the country. Everyone was telling us that breaking up made more sense. We were so young and college was constantly explained as a time for our individual exploration. We both felt so much external pressure from the people in our lives that we ended up just agreeing. I don’t think either of us ever wanted to break up, but we thought we had to. So we did. We lasted about 4 months apart before we realized it was stupid to do it just because others were telling us to. We are now in our senior year, still at different schools, and just as in love and committed to each other as we were in high school.” — Alicia and David
2. “We’d been dating for 5 years and things were starting to become routine. It wasn’t a bad thing, but I think we both got into our heads about what that meant. Were we settling for something comfortable? Our friends were all single and casually dating, so we’d hear stories about one-night stands and spontaneous passion. During that period, we sort of just drifted away from each other. Nobody cheated. Nobody did anything out of line. But we reached this point of asking ourselves, ‘Do we still want this? Are we together just because it’s what we’re used to?’ We decided to take time apart to explore those feelings. Ultimately, we rediscovered our appreciation and love for each other by splitting up. We remembered that something that is secure and comfortable doesn’t mean it lacks excitement. Love should feel safe.” — Luke and Pat
3. “My girlfriend cheated on me. Not physically, but emotionally. She admitted that she had developed feelings for her co-worker and it devastated me. I told her she couldn’t have both, so I walked away. We didn’t speak for over a year. But one day, she called and I decided to answer. We got to reminiscing and it was clear there was still love. She explained the crush ended up being an innocent fantasy thing and had no interest in actually pursuing it. I jumped to the conclusion that her being attracted to someone else meant she no longer cared for me. But that wasn’t the case. So we gave it a chance and got back together. And now we’re getting married in the fall.” — Haley and Kris
4. “We both were going through a lot of personal issues. Family stress, work drama, and the hardest, one of us was dealing with an untreated addiction problem. It all came together in this toxic explosion and after a huge fight, we broke up. We didn’t break up because we stopped loving each other or caring. But it just all became too much. We took separate time to figure some of our shit out, but still kept in touch as friends. But it became clear we would never just be friends and, even when things were tough, our lives were infinitely better with one another in them. We also went to couple’s therapy which has been hugely helpful. We wanted a professional to help us learn how to better communicate and not lash out when other stuff is happening.” — London and Dustin
5. “We were both really young. Our relationship was very passionate, but also turbulent. I just don’t think we really knew the proper way to love someone. We reunited by total coincidence 3 years later. We started hanging out as friends, but ultimately decided to give it another try. It was like a totally different relationship. We’d both matured so much and were finally willing to do the work love requires.” — Jack and Brianna