I remember you like I remember that summer,
everything too hot,
my feet pounding against the concrete
trying to make it to safe ground,
to stop burning

you always had me burning

I used to wonder when people would call for help,
if fires are the type of monster
that start slowly,
if it’s only cause for concern when the flames
are tall enough that we can look them
in the eye
when we can see the damage
in plain view

you called me three months ago to say how proud you were,
of course,
I blush,
I’m hungry for your approval,
like it will make up for your departure
if you love me again,
it means I was always worth it,
right?

you ask if I want to get coffee
and I run to the bathroom because I think
my breakfast might come back up,
do you even know me?

do you remember the sound of
my heart?

I ask the mirror,
and want to break it when there is
no response

you tell me how pretty I look
and I think,
you haven’t seen me in years

so you like the pictures,
you read the words,
all this burning in my throat,
in my chest
it is summer again and I’m afraid,
there are no lifeguards out
and your blues always could
drown me

you do not know who I have become,
or how I fought battles all on my own
when you decided
turbulence was too much

don’t you dare show back up,
don’t you dare say you have always
loved me

you don’t even know me,
not now,

not anymore.