I always get nervous in large crowds. They are the only times I’ve experienced panic attacks. My heart beat accelerates and I can feel the sweat start to collect at the nape of my neck. Something about my body doesn’t like when there are too many others surrounding it. It doesn’t feel very safe; it doesn’t feel like I can let myself relax.
When I think of you, the word home escapes from my mouth with an ease that almost frightens me. I can’t even help it. I look at you and see a string of twinkly lights outside my childhood house. I look at you and see four walls that will always keep me protected.
I’ve heard people say home isn’t so much a place as it is a feeling. I don’t think I fully understood that before you. I didn’t understand how a person could become a place. But then, there you were. And I’ve found the spot I never want to leave.
I still don’t like crowds, but I can manage when you’re there with me. Everything else just fades away. I’m at home wherever we go, so long as you are near.
I like the world best when it’s just you and me. I like how effortlessly we switch between hearty laughs and comfortable silence. I like how you wrap me up in your lanky arms and hum songs I can never quite name.
I like the world best when it’s just you and me. We never need to put on airs or pretend to be something we’re not. Sometimes, I snort when I laugh. Sometimes, you let the dishes pile up. I like how our imperfections seem to fit, in the most imperfect way.
I like the world best when it’s just you and me. I like how you know I cry at stupid things and you know I don’t run away when situations get tough. I hold your hand when you’re too afraid to ask me to.
I like the world when it is soft and gentle, and so often, our world is not. I like the world when it is forgiving and loving, and so often, our world is not.
I like the world best when it’s just you and me. Because together, we create the kind of world I want to live in. The kind of world I am happy to wake up to.