“I need you to be a monster / which is to say, I am trying not to love you / which is to say, I am still dreaming of kissing your claws.”
“I said to the sun, ‘Tell me about the big bang.’ The sun said, ‘it hurts to become.’”
“I wonder if I will remember this as the winter where everyone died but I wasn’t overcome with sadness.”
“it is a tuesday when i love someone
who doesn’t love me. no, it’s not the first time,
but it’s a sad time. oh, it’s always a sad time
but my heart doesn’t listen, doesn’t understand,
soars like a child in a rocket ship,
doesn’t believe in gravity. doesn’t believe
in learning a lesson. wants to give
until there is nothing left but glitter.”
“To love me is to love a haunted house
– it’s fun to visit once a year,
but no one wants to live there.”
“when it rains i know you are looking at the same rain. i have to believe it means something different to you than it does to me.”
“The truth is,
some pain just isn’t worth it.
Sometimes, the hurt gets old.
Sometimes, you get tired of
being the one who has to heal.”
“I loved you head over handles
like my first bicycle accident —
before the mouthful of gravel and blood,
I swore we were flying.”
“It’s been three years since I’ve spent
the night with someone who liked me
enough to get breakfast in the morning.
Still, I spread my heart thin like butter
on toast, hoping someone else will come
along and snatch it off my plate.”
“You are a massive forest full of beautiful and vibrant stories and every single one of them deserves you more than those that abandoned you to hell.”
“Accidents never happen when the room is empty.
Everyone understands this. Everyone needs a place.
People like to think war means something.”
like it is an alternative to breathing
and every available ounce of oxygen has suddenly gone missing.”
“Everything hurts and no one is telling me how to heal.
I meditate with rose quartz resting in my palms.
I eat more bananas.
I make a spell with bat’s wings and dandelion water.
something has to work,
but I am waiting, at the end of my rope,
braiding my hair into broken,
twisted cusps of thread,
in a desperate way of begging the universe
to put me somewhere safe.”
“I hated him most
for not having the courage
to ruin us grandly.
To break all the dishes
and burn down the house.
Instead he sunk quiet
into the arms of a beautiful,
weak little bird.
Denied me my spilled blood,
my great war, everything
except his confession.”
“I have developed an affinity for comfort
When I am wanting for something I can’t have and at the moment
I’ve built a home inside of
Not having you.”