Thought Catalog

12 Things I Need My Future Husband To Know

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wendy liu
wendy liu

1. I don’t expect you to stay the same forever. I’ve never understood the complaint of “you’ve changed!” Isn’t that the point? Aren’t we constantly evolving? If not, we’re just stagnant. And that doesn’t sound like much of a life. We’re going to be different than who we were when we met. Maybe our goals will shift. Maybe our world views will expand. I never want you to feel stifled. I never want you to think I expect you to remain exactly the man I fell in love with. I want to grow with you. I want to fall in love with you again and again, including all the new parts of you.

2. I will be your biggest cheerleader and your most honest critic. Yeah, just a warning, I’m going to be the one obnoxiously cheering and clapping for you in the front row. But I’m ALSO going to be the one giving you real feedback. I will always be your number one fan, but that means I’ll tell you the truth too. Because I respect you too much not to.

3. We’re always going to have dogs. Like, always. This is how it has to be. This is the life I must live.

4. I’m not in competition with your past. You have loved before. There have been important people who carved initials into your heart. You have memories that I don’t expect to erase. I have them too. They were all valid. They all served a purpose. We don’t have to pretend we are each other’s firsts. We are each other’s now. To me, that’s so much more important.

5. Being your wife will be an honor, but it won’t be my identity. I am so proud to be part of your life, to grow old together, to share whatever comes our way. But being Your Wife won’t become all that I am. Being Your Wife will never be my title. First and foremost, I am Me. And let’s be honest babe, that’s why you married me.

6. Our adventures won’t always be grand. Sometimes they will be as mundane as trips to the grocery store. Or stopping to get gas on the way home. We won’t always be jet-setting and taking envy-giving Instagrams. In fact, I hope we don’t. I hope our best days are kept private. That they are boring to the outside world, but to us? They are everything.

7. I cry at the dumbest things. Seriously. That gum commercial? Bawling. Some story about people I don’t know and never will? Immediately emotionally attached. I can’t help it. I get teary-eyed whenever I see roadkill, no matter how many times it happens. Just do me a favor and rub my back.

8. Our interests don’t have to match up perfectly. I get excited about the things you like not because it means I like them too, but because I love knowing what you are passionate about. We aren’t going to love the same things all the time. It would be silly to assume we would. But just know, seeing you completely stoked on something is wonderful to me. I don’t need to understand why, I just love knowing it brings you joy.

9. My mom is going to treat you like one of her own. And you damn sure better like it. She’s the best person in my life (other than you). You get the best bonus Mom with her. Honestly, she’s reason enough to marry me.

10. I don’t want to give up on us. Even when it gets tough. Even when we’re fighting and we’re both too stubborn to admit we were wrong. I want to always work it out. I never want to fall asleep mad. Life is so short and unpredictable. I know we’ll argue. That’s how it works. But I don’t want to let it get the best of us.

11. You are my best friend. That’s why I feel confident marrying you. I wouldn’t do this for just anyone. Romance comes and goes. I’ve seen it happen. But we’ve built a foundation on admiration, trust, and undying support. You’re not just someone I want to take to BoneTown (THOUGH I DO!), you’re the person I want to tell all my secrets. You’re the person I can’t wait to see. You’re the person I know will always have my back. And I’m grateful to have found you.

12. I hope you’re the biggest goddamn weirdo. I mean, if I’m marrying you that means you are. If I’m going to sign up for a lifetime deal, it’s absolutely going to be with someone just as absurd as I am. TC mark

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    It’s a good perception, but what percentage do you assign for its visualization?

  • Sharon Nyatanga

    i love this. especially number 4, i think it speaks volume.people have loved before and we cant expect them to erase the memories.

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  • http://ilcavalieredinverno.wordpress.com tHeBrOnZeHoRsEmAn

    Amazing words.

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  • http://indepthwoman.wordpress.com indepthwoman

    Love #4. I wish the men I meet would stop trying compete with my past.

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