11 Signs You’ve Got A Serious Case Of Messy-Clean Syndrome

You're The Worst
You’re The Worst

1. Your room is a disaster zone.

BUT it’s not a disgusting disaster zone. It’s still (surprisingly) hygienic in its clutter and chaos. No finding expired goods hiding beneath your bed. And those piles of clothes? All clean. Which isn’t necessarily something to brag about but, NOT DIRTY!

2. You have interesting approaches to organization.

Meaning you can usually find what you’re looking for. But that doesn’t mean anyone else can. Obviously people can’t appreciate your small piles of crap technique…but not actual crap because that would fall under messy-gross syndrome. *shudders*

3. You don’t believe in minimalism.

Excuse me?! Less is more? Uhhhh, no. You’re pretty confident less is less.

4. You carry around hand sanitizer.

Which is kind of hilarious considering your car looks like someone lives in it. But it’s germ free! (or so you like to think)

5. You rarely ever make your bed, but you DO change your sheets.

And you do it often! And really, isn’t that much more important?

6. You don’t care about presentation; you care about what’s on the inside.

You lack an eye for pretty aesthetics, but you know it’s not about what something looks like anyway. Okay, so you don’t iron your clothes. But that wrinkled shirt is fresh out the laundry and smells fantastic. You’re just not superficial, that’s all. (but you definitely might be lazy)

7. You cannot stand being physically dirty.

It’s not that unheard of for you to shower twice in a day. And you’re a hand-washing fanatic. You were usually the kid asking friends if they washed up after using the bathroom. I mean, really, how are you gonna wipe your butt and not then scrub with soap? And people have the audacity to call YOU messy? Puhlease.

8. You’ve never gracefully opened a bag of chips in your entire life.

It always ends up looking a bit like a ravenous raccoon got its little paws on it.

9. You get uncomfortable in homes that look too perfect.

Are you visiting the Stepford family? Where’s the proof that human life exists here!??!

10. Whenever you do a serious deep cleaning, things still end up a little out of place.

Piles are now in boxes labeled “miscellaneous.” Clothes are properly put away. But you still have at least one pair of shoes hanging out haphazardly.

11. You actually don’t mind cleaning.

People assume you’re this sloven pig who doesn’t know how to keep things tidy. And that’s not true. You’re good at cleaning! You love the smell of Clorox wipes. You just struggle with the keeping things orderly part. TC mark

Ari Eastman

✨ real(ly not) chill. poet. writer. mental health activist. mama shark. ✨

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