“It was extremely difficult and messy. I didn’t want to implicate our mutual friends and kept my mouth shut about specifics leading to everything falling apart, but she definitely didn’t return the favour. While I was in Europe for two months, I learned she had bad mouthed me and spread lies about me and the things I supposedly did. I couldn’t exactly stand up for myself and heard very interesting stories once I came home.”
— Jess, 27
“I think it was harder than losing some of my romantic relationships, quite honestly. Some things were said and we’re both extremely stubborn people. Neither of us wanted to be the one to apologize first, and as a result, we stopped talking altogether. I still wonder how she is.”
— Liz, 31
“She was sweet, but ultimately, we just weren’t a good match as friends. We had a wonderful first semester of college together but then she sort of dropped her mask. She became very religious and tried to ‘save’ me. Argued with me if I took the morning after pill, saying I was too good to get an ‘abortion.’ Told me she thought my (now) husband and her could’ve been ‘best friends if they only had more time together.’ Tried to get me to join a sorority; when I passed, she fully dove into that culture, and good for her if she enjoyed it. We are amicable today but that separation in college broke us and we couldn’t be put back together.”
— Tasha, 26
“We were best friends all throughout middle school and high school. We went to different colleges and went down different paths. There wasn’t anything drastic, sort of just a fade out. But things will still happen and I’ll wish I could text her. Maybe we’ll reconnect one day.”
— Dawna, 22
“So my friend was having a really difficult time with her ex. He was just not a great dude and had her through the wringer.
I suppose it’s good that I learned she prioritizes assholes over longtime friendships, but that doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt. I miss her all the time.”
— Jay, 25
“I had a friend situation where we were really close, enjoyed spending time with him. He could be kind of possessive but it wasn’t too bad. I started noticing things like when I mentioned hanging out with my then boyfriend (a friend of both of ours) he would sabotage our date nights. Eventually, I started noticing more and more that when I would hang out with friends besides him, he would get super passive aggressive. He then started to call our friend group together, not invite (or invite and then un-invite me) and send me snapchat videos of everyone hanging out. I tried texting him to work things out but he denied that anything was even happening, so I just stopped talking to him completely. Was a huge bummer, but like, shit happens.”
— Gloria, 24
“I was seeing this guy, and my best friend at the time was completely supportive. I noticed they had become “best friends” on Snapchat. I asked her why and she said it was because he Snapchatted her things about me a lot…But I just kind of forgot about it after that. A few weeks later I hear a knock on my door. It’s my friend and she tells me that she had sex with him. I immediately start bawling. She then says that she thinks he’s the one and they have such a deep connection but, ‘Don’t worry! He still thinks you’re pretty.'”
— Kaitlin, 23
“I don’t really know what happened. She just stopped texting me back. And lemme tell you, getting ghosted by a friend? That shit stings even worse than when a hook up does it.”
— Brielle, 20
“He was engaging in really dangerous, self-destructive behavior and refused to get help. I did everything I could think of. But you cannot force someone to get healthy. I couldn’t sit back and watch him destroy himself. It was like watching a car crash. I hope he’s doing okay now.”
— Jo, 24
“In college, I moved in with this girl I was friends with. It was just the two of us, and I saw a completely new side to her. Like, a really, really terrifying side. She would steal my clothes, take photos in them, tell people she wanted to be just like me, etc. People often told me in confidence that I was on the verge of having one of those stalker roomies.
Fast forward to a few months down the line, she screams bloody murder in the middle of the night. I run into her room and she’s sitting perfectly calm on her bed, reading the bible.
I eventually convince her to let me out. I stay awake in bed all night, I hear her rattling through the cutlery doors and opening windows and all of this other stuff. I eventually passed out and in the morning, I saw she had posted photos of me all over. I called the cops and her family, and she was eventually found wandering around, completely out of it. In the hospital, she gave a statement about how she was going to kill me.
So yeah, I definitely ‘broke up’ with her at that point.”
— Zoe, 27
“We started developing very different ideologies, and it just wasn’t an enjoyable friendship anymore. We got into a fight about politics, and just…stopped talking after that. Sometimes you outgrow people. And that’s alright.”
— Chase, 25
“She slept with my husband. Safe to say the friendship was over after that.”
— Sunrise, 29
“She insulted my mom. No one insults my mama.”
— Kelly, 22