Long-distance relationships get a bad reputation. Everyone seems to have an opinion on whether or not you should pursue one, but here’s the truth: only you know if it’s going to work. No one can predict that for you. Yes, they can require more work and dedication than a “normal” relationship, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t worth it. Or that they can’t lead to a healthy and happy couple. But here are a few things to keep in mind if you’re thinking of trying that will increase the likelihood of sticking together.
1. Serious trust.
Being away from someone you love majority of the time is a hard thing to deal with. And you can’t survive it without serious amounts of trust. A long-distance relationship that works is one that has two secure people. Secure with themselves. With their partner. With their relationship. If you don’t have trust, you won’t have much.
2. An ability to talk honestly about moments of jealousy.
Just because you trust someone doesn’t mean you won’t have very human moments of jealousy. Everyone does. Put miles between you and your honey? It’ll amplify that feeling from time to time. But talking it through, and recognizing when you’re feeling irrationally, is important in making it work.
3. A connection that isn’t just physical.
It’s easy to feel connected to someone when you’re able to physically touch them and feel them. In long-distance relationships, you have to learn how to give and receive affection that doesn’t always include being in the same room. You’ll need to strengthen the core of your relationship — friendship, respect, and admiration.
4. Carve out special “us” time.
Pick a show you can both watch together. Even if you’re not together. FaceTime while you do it. Or discuss the episode after it’s finished. Choose a day when it’s just the two of you, or when you can have some type of shared activity.
5. Your own passions/interests.
Honestly, this is something that every person in a relationship needs to have. Every person in general, to be honest. But it’s especially important when your beau is far away. When you have something you’re interested in, you can pour energy and time into that. And it will make the days until you see your Love a little less daunting.
6. Send each other videos/pictures.
Even if you can’t be with each other day to day, you can still make an effort to feel included. Send them videos or silly photos. If you see something you know would make them laugh, snap a picture. Text/email it to them. These small moments can do a world of difference in feeling like you’re still experiencing moments together.
7. Find things to be grateful for.
Let each other know the things you appreciate about one another. Try to take time each day to remember how grateful you are to be with them. Even if it’s harder sometimes. You’re so happy to have them in your life, and in your corner.
8. Share.
Share your weird dreams from the night before. Share things you’d like to do when you visit each other. Share dreams and aspirations, fears and trepidations. It’s important to keep your connection strong, and sharing even the smallest things can help achieve that.
9. Don’t obsess over social media.
I personally think it’s not the best idea to follow anyone you’re dating/hooking up with/interested in on social media. We’ve become so consumed with knowing what everyone is doing CONSTANTLY, and that’s not the healthiest. And this mentality can turn otherwise trusting people into unnecessarily insecure. So they are tagged in a photo at a party they didn’t mention? Who cares. Don’t stress about it or become a social media sleuth. Got a question? Ask your partner. But don’t just lurk. Guaranteed it’s not going to make you feel any better.
10. Appreciate it as a chance to get to know yourself again.
Long-distance grants you a special opportunity: the space to grow and discover who you are. Not that you can’t do that within a local relationship, but there is something liberating about doing what you want, when you want. Of course you’ll miss your significant other, but you’re also given the chance to learn how to be with someone you may have forgotten about — yourself. And that will serve you well in the future, both individually and in your relationship. 
