10 Stages You Go Through After Having A Sex Dream About Someone You Don’t Even Really Like

You got a little frisky in your dream, eh? Sleep and sex are two of the best things on this planet, so getting down to business WHILE still going full REM cycle? Sign me up. But brains are weird. And sometimes, a person you don’t even particularly like will work their way in and you’ll be left scratching your head muttering to yourself, “What the hell happened???”

1. What the actual f*ck?

You’ve just woken up hot and bothered. No, but seriously bothered. Did that really just happen? You couldn’t possibly have been imagining that asshole from your office pumping away and you…actually enjoying it? WHAT THE HELL, BRAIN???

2. Questioning everything about yourself.

How could this happen? What did you do to deserve this? Why was your brain even thinking about that? Have you secretly wanted to have sex with them this whole time? Has your life been a giant lie?!?

3. Wave of disgust.

You’re garbage. You’re a garbage person who has garbage dreams. Your brain is some dickhead Judas and you cannot trust anything anymore.

4. Arousal.

…But the dream was hot. Part of you wants to go back to sleep to see what happens in round two…

5. No, seriously. What the f*ck?

BUT WHY???? WHYYYYY?????????????

6. It’s just a dream…

Okay, you’re calming down now. It’s not a big deal. Dreams are weird! They don’t always have to mean something. Sometimes a cigar really is just a cigar, am I right?

7. DO I SECRETLY LOVE THEM?

Wait, hold on. Could this dream mean something? Have you just been running from your real feelings? Now you can’t stop thinking about your sex dream partner and wondering if there’s something about them you missed first time around. Could they be *gulp* The One?

8. Run to social media to confirm.

You need answers, pronto. You’ll pull up your phone and carefully type in their Instagram handle. A photo loads and you find yourself looking with a new set of eyes. Maybe you ARE attracted to them?

9. Preparing to see them in real life.

You had a sex dream. And now you’re about to see them in real life. Deep breath, you can do this. You’ve just secretly pictured their junk rubbed all up on yours, IT’S CHILL! Nothing is different, except for everything.