10 People Open Up About Why They Ghosted In A Relationship

According to handy, dandy Urban Dictionary — Ghosting (v.) – “The act of suddenly ceasing all communication with someone the subject is dating, but no longer wishes to date.” As someone who has both ghosted and been ghosted on, it’s a sucky way to go. It’s cowardly and let’s be real, we all know that. It robs a relationship of closure and displays a general lack of respect. So, in hopes of figuring out why this is something so many of us do (and have had done to us) – I asked those who have gone Casper The (Not So) Friendly Ghost on a relationship.
Ann Haritonenko
Ann Haritonenko

1. “It felt like the softer blow, you know? I thought maybe just fading out would make it less painful. But I think it just left her confused and me looking like the asshole. Maybe I was.” — Brian, 23

2. “I honestly just didn’t know how to have that conversation. We weren’t exactly exclusive so we weren’t breaking up. It felt too awkward to just say: Sooo, I’m not into this anymore.” — Kim, 22

3. “Point blank, I met someone else. That was it.” — Chris, 25

4. “Whenever I tried to talk about the relationship, he would just turn it around on me. He would guilt me for any little problem I tried to discuss, so whether or not it was the ‘cowardly’ thing to do, it was a whole lot easier to just peace out without a big confrontation.” — Alison, 25

5. “We stopped being able to effectively communicate. We both tried, really. But it just was like we kept hitting a block. I don’t think I really ghosted, just slowly disappeared. Not all at once or entirely, but I don’t know. I think we both saw it coming and I was just the one who initiated the drift apart.” — James, 23

6. “I was scared. I was just really scared about hurting him and I know I still did. But I could avoid seeing the pain. That’s kind of selfish, isn’t it?” — Carrie, 20

7. “Because he started being a complete asshole to me. Not even remotely sorry. If you’re going to treat me with disrespect, why should I give you a respectful goodbye?” — Lyla, 23

8. “I never really thought about why. It just feels like it’s how our generation does things? Maybe that’s shitty and not true, but I think ghosting is pretty common among people I know.” — Tessa, 21

9. “I don’t wanna entirely blame technology, but it’s just made it so damn easy to ghost. We can hide behind screens and not have to own up to awkward conversations or emotions. I don’t doubt it’s shitty, but it’s like, why wouldn’t you wanna avoid awkwardness if you can?” — Ben, 22

10. “We had only gone on a few dates and I just wasn’t attracted to him. But I didn’t want to say that and hurt his feelings. So I just…stopped responding. For all he knows, I just stopped paying my phone bill…” — Reese, 24 TC mark

Ari Eastman

✨ real(ly not) chill. poet. writer. mental health activist. mama shark. ✨

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