1. It feels slightly patronizing.
It’s like a pat on the head. Are you going to hand me a juice box? Should I show you how high I can count or that I finally learned how to ride my bike without training wheels? I get that it’s not intended to feel belittling, but depending on who is saying it, it can absolutely feel infantilizing. Thank you, but I can vote, order myself a margarita, and have my own car insurance. I’m not a child.
2. Anxieties or other fears are suddenly made to feel cartoonish.
No, it’s actually not cute that I’m nervous about calling and switching my hair appointment time. It’s neurotic behavior and a fear of talking to people on the phone that I’m trying really hard to counteract right now. But thanks for making me feel like I’m a Zooey Deschanel character.
3. Nobody is calling the bombshell on TV cute.
I GET IT. SCARLETT JOHANSSON AND I DON’T EXACTLY LOOK ALIKE. I’m okay with it. But I don’t need to be reminded that if she slaps on a pair of overalls, she’ll look like a gorg Sex Goddess and I look like an advertisement for OshKosh B’Gosh clothing company.
4. It’s a physical assessment of your personality.
So someone does or says something funny and they’re called cute? What about intelligent? Or goofy? Witty? Or totally-Gary-Busey-level weird? It doesn’t always need to boil back down to looks.
5. It ruins *~*the mood~*~.
Nothing puts a kibosh on a lady boner like trying to be sexy and hearing you’re adorable. Oh, like a golden retriever and pug snuggling? That’s adorable right? Me trying to put the moves on you shouldn’t be. DAMMIT! *pouts in the corner*
6. It’s often said to those on the petite side as a reminder that, you know, we’re petite.
Thank you. We almost forgot that we were short. Thank God you cleared that up for us.
7. It makes you feel like you aren’t being taken seriously.
I dare you the next time you get surgery or any serious medical procedure to turn to your doctor and say, with all sincerity, “Thank you so much. You’re just the cutest, you know that?”
8. It’s what you say to actual children.
And you’re not! You’re not!!!! You even sit at the big kids table now! *throws a tantrum and pounds fists on the ground*
9. YOU ARE A LOT OF OTHER THINGS TOO!
But the only one people seem to remember is cute. Aw, cute.
10. Cashiers don’t believe your REAL ID is real because you’re just sooOooOo cute.
People keep telling you to be grateful and this will be awesome when you’re older. But you secretly fear you’ll be 45 and still called cute by people 20 years your junior.
11. It’s a horrible first intro to conversation.
You like those little orange-tangerine things? Or are you talking to my great grandmother? Because you’re right, she is a cutie.
12. Because sometimes you want to just be sexy.
And you know what? Go on and do you. You get to define your own sexiness. You might look like Gap kids to the rest of the world, but if you think you’re a Maxim Hot 100, Babe, you are.