5 Classic Texts You Only Send When You’re Drunk

1. The Ex Files

The shit you immediately regret. Liquid courage has you spilling your guts and let’s be honest, someone should have taken away your phone.

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2. Parental Guidance

You’re hit with the sudden desire to let your family know you love them. And that’s really sweet and great, but it’s usually when the old folks are already fast asleep. And now you’ll have a fun phone conversation explaining it the following day.

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3. Crushtown, USA

You’re feeling pretty gutsy and decide now is the perfect time to establish contact with that babe you’ve been crushing on from afar. How did you get their number? Hushhhh, that’s not important right now.

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4. The VERY IMPORTANT Question

Usually to a best friend, you have a seemingly random question or request. And it is SO IMPORTANT. IT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING YOU HAVE EVER ASKED. YOU NEED A RESPONSE. WHERE ARE THEY???? (to be fair, you’d likely send this text sober too)

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5. Wrong Number

Hey, is it your fault that so many people have similar looking names? TC mark

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Ari Eastman

✨ real(ly not) chill. poet. writer. mental health activist. mama shark. ✨

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