1. When you complain about being lonely, you understand it has little to do with being alone. In fact, you prefer finding peace in your own solitude.
2. The Larry David quote, “A date is an experience you have with another person that makes you appreciate being alone,” is basically your life motto.
3. When someone actually amazing asks you out on a date and there’s a very real possibility it could lead to something, you go into FULL. BLOWN. PANIC.
4. Your imagination is so much more powerful than logical thinking. It’s typical for you to jump to either best case scenarios or worst case, as good ol’ Drake would say, 0-100 real quick.
5. Superficial small talk is your worst nightmare. It’s right under death and being forced to go back to high school.
6. You’re trigger-happy when it comes to canceling plans. It’s shitty and you know that, but it’s just so much easier! The rush of relief when you simply say, “Could we raincheck?” is addicting.
7. Watching the occasional romcom or sappy, heart-string-pulling flick, but preferring to do it when no one is looking. You won’t be running to see any Nicholas Sparks film in the theater, but you might sneak a viewing in the privacy of your own home.
8. Your idea of great romance is no pants and Netflix.
9. It’s not unusual for you to develop feelings for unavailable people. You might not even really realize that’s what you do, but it’s safer that way. You can still fantasize and have this idea of romance, but likely nothing will come of it. There’s a comfort in that.
10. You sleep cradling a pillow but find it difficult to fall asleep if another person is actually next to you.
11. After being on Tinder, OkCupid, or other various online dating sites for a few hours, you walk away thinking, “Wow, I hate everyone.”
12. You’d love to go back to letter writing. Sure, it would come with a new host of issues but at least you wouldn’t be haunted by that pesky *read by notification.
13. Secretly wishing to talk on the phone for hours instead of texting. But still getting all nervous and uncomfortable when it rings.
14. Break ups suck because A) the pain of losing someone is the worst and quite frankly B) the idea of having to start all over again is EXHAUSTING.
15. Dating just for “fun” and “keeping it casual” makes zero sense to you. Why go through all this if there isn’t the possibility of a real connection at the end of it? It’s like taking a painstakingly long sewing class and then never, ever sewing anything. Just. Why?
16. You have a very real phobia that, if you’ve already been massively in love before, that was a one-time kind of deal. What if you’ve already had your shot at it?
17. You are a very affectionate person, but cannot handle excessive PDA.
18. You really do believe in lasting love. You just have yet to really find it. But somewhere down deep in that cynical heart, you just keep believing.