You know that whole saying, “Those who can’t do, teach.” ??
Well, THAT IS A TRULY HORRIBLE SAYING BECAUSE TEACHERS ARE GREAT. But yes, it’s that time. When I come in with advice and words and nonsense that I struggle with following. Let’s talk about sex baby, let’s talk about you and me. Wait, no, let’s talk about REBOUNDING. A thing we’ve all been guilty of at some point, even innocently. I’ve been both the rebound girl and the rebounder. So lemme help you figure it out if your bae is truly a bae or just rebounding. ReBAEnding? Okay. Bye.
1. They are a little too eager to put you on social media.
I truly believe relationships fair a lot better when a level of privacy is maintained. (Oh hello kettle, this is pot calling to say, “You write for a living on the internet and you are soooo black!”) When you’re pumped about someone or a relationship, it makes total sense to want to share your excitement. But when it’s overkill? It screams: “Hey world (aka my ex)!! Look! I moved on. I’m totally fine and don’t still cry and look at your Facebook profile!”
2. The Ex finds a way into meaningless conversations.
People say you should never mention an ex, and I think that’s a little ridiculous. If someone was a significant part of your life, yes, you’re going to have stories or memories with them. It’s foolish to pretend someone didn’t exist. I’ve dated people and I’ve enjoyed when we open up about our pasts. The problem? When everything little thing is a reminder. “My ex used to love scrambled eggs too…that fucking BITCH!” Woah. Red flag. Abandon ship.
3. They wouldn’t be able to tell someone much about your interests, hobbies, etc.
They don’t really know you. And if it’s the beginning, that’s fine. But if they aren’t making an active effort to learn? That’s an issue. Because at the end of the day, it just means they don’t care enough. When someone really likes you, they want to know about you: your passions, your dreams, the silly things that make you smile. It’s simple. If someone cares, they show it.
4. They are a Katy Perry song.
HOT AND COLD. Seriously, one second they are loving and wonderful, and you begin to think, “Wow, this is really moving somewhere!” And then they go MIA. Contact becomes sporadic and you’re there just scratching your head. Be wary of these hot and cold suckers. This behavior is telling you something…like, hey, don’t waste your time on me!
5. They never make plans to see you during the day.
Unless they are a vampire, this is weird and basically says, “you just ease the loneliness of nighttime.” And if they are a vampire, I don’t know, you should probably also be careful.
6. They never mention meeting your family.
Because, as brutally honest as this is, they just don’t see a future. Meeting families, friends, anyone of importance is so stressful. So are they gonna put themselves through that unneeded ulcer if they don’t plan on sticking around? Nope.
7. He/she seems incredibly jealous of The Ex.
A philosopher from the land of Toronto once said, “But jealousy is just love and hate at the same time.” (Lol, Drake). It’s true though. It’s natural to feel some type of way about someone you once loved moving on, but if they are CONSUMED with an obsession/hatred/anything like that, it means something deeper is still lurking. Indifference is how you know someone is really over it.
8. They seek constant validation.
Someone took a major shot to their ego and now they’re hoping you can fix it. Everyone loves a good compliment, but when it’s a huge part of the relationship, eek. Not good. You can’t have something healthy if your partner is really just keeping you around to feel better about themselves.
9. They can never be alone.
Some people just dislike being alone, and that’s okay. I personally crave solitude so much, it might be a totally separate issue I should work on…but I digress. If someone is incapable of being without you? Listen, you might think it’s flattering, but you sound like a crutch. And you don’t want that. 
