23 Mildly Irrational Thoughts Overthinkers Have While Casually Dating

Some people are just effortlessly chill. You see them strolling around, on a date, throwing their head back and laughing like a Pantene model. HOW DO YOU DO THAT? Why are you so cool? How do you just…date? And not freak out constantly? Good for you. But for those of us who aren’t quite as calm and collected, casual dating is kind of like jumping into a freezing pool. Painful and confusing. But also….fun?
Parks And Recreation
Parks And Recreation

1. “I honestly have no idea if this is a date.”

2. “How am I supposed to dress for this maybe-a-date-but-also-maybe-just-hanging-out-and-becoming-friends-or-something date? Flannel? Wedding dress? Something in between?”

3. “I should cancel. I can’t do this. I’m just going to marry my Keurig machine.”



4. “So you didn’t text me back, but you sent me a Snapchat. Ok?!?! I’m chill. I’m breezy.”

5. “No seriously, it’s whatevs. First name: I’m. Last name: Breezy. I’m Breeeezy.” *profusely sweats*

6. “Okay, so you keep almost touching my leg with your leg, but then you don’t and I’m pretending it doesn’t phase me, BUT I’M FREAKING OUT HERE. WHAT GAME ARE YOU PLAYING?!?!?”

7. “Did I just accidentally mention my ex? Omg. SOS.”

8. “Maintaining eye contact seems really stressful right now.”

9. “Just made serious prolonged eye contact and it made me feel so melty and nervous that I completely zoned out and have no idea what you just said. But I’m going to keep nodding because I’m too embarrassed to ask you to repeat yourself.”

10. “I wonder why your last relationship failed.”

11. “I wonder if you wonder why my last relationship failed.”

12. “What exactly does casual mean?”

13. “But…like seriously, is this a date?”

14. “I’m just gonna go ahead and kiss you right now. Test the waters.”

15. “Oh. Nope. Nope. I’m not gonna do that because I think my heart is being controlled by a hummingbird right now and if I make even the smallest move towards you, I will explode and die.”

16. “I am in uncharted territories here. I’m supposed to be chill and casual, but like, that’s definitely not my strong suit. Do I seem casual right now?” *Googles how to seem casual*

17. “I don’t know how to either have no feelings or all the feelings. How do I stop feelings?” *Googles how to stop feelings*

18. “What do I introduce you as? Like…we’re dating? No? Yeah? I’ve seen you naked. Sooooo???”

19. “I like your face. Omg. I like your face so much. I want to tell you how much I like your face.”

20. “You keep calling me bae, and I get that it’s a joke…but also???”

21. “Are you seeing anyone else? Am I seeing anyone else? Who am I?”

22. “When can we just take off our pants and watch Netflix? Are we there yet?”

23. “I think I’m developing an ulcer.” TC mark

Ari Eastman

✨ real(ly not) chill. poet. writer. mental health activist. mama shark. ✨

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