Why I Don’t Regret Getting Married (But I Regret Having A Wedding)

Shutterstock
Shutterstock

A little over a year ago I had my very own white wedding cliché. After months of stressful planning and teeth grinding at my mother in law to be, I was finally slipping awkwardly out of an overpriced car, in an overpriced dress, ready to walk the aisle in front of a hundred of what I thought were my closest friends and family.

There are two things I took away from this experience, first was my wonderful husband, and second was the newly found knowledge that weddings are SO overrated.

As children we dream of our big day, the media flaunt images of perfect women, and handsome men smiling and laughing as they prance around at their flawless ceremonies and receptions, so it’s easy to understand where our misplaced dreams come from. I was always partial to Cinderella, where fate stepped in, and whisked Cinderella away with her Prince Charming that saved her from a life of destitution. And you know those glass slippers were pretty stunning! That’s why my head was filled with perfect images as my big day approached. Then reality set in.

The closer I got to the wedding the more distraught I became. I suddenly realized a marriage is about the bride and groom; a wedding is about everyone else. No one was ever happy. The bridesmaids wanted different dresses, one sister thought she should be the maid of honor, but then didn’t want to help with anything. No one was happy with the seating plan, my parent’s wanted to change the menu, my in laws wanted to invite their friends that my husband and me didn’t even know! My dream of a perfect wedding was quickly spiraling into my perfect disaster.

Then the day came. I barely saw my husband, I felt like a poser putting on a fake smile for everyone’s cameras, and worst of all, there were so many people and I was expected to speak to everyone that I barely even ate anything from the menu that caused so much grief. So what the hell is all the fuss about?

If I could go back in time I would grab my husbands hand and run down to city hall. The money would be better spent on an incredible honeymoon, over a party I didn’t even like.

I honestly believe that weddings make us blind, literally to the point that we forget why we’re throwing them. The whole point of a wedding is to make a promise to the person you love, not to impress a lot of people, most of whom you don’t really care about. I only wish I had of realized this earlier. TC mark

More From Thought Catalog

  • https://thoughtcatalog.com/shannon-smith/2015/03/6-comforting-things-to-tell-yourself-while-in-a-quarter-life-crisis/ 6 Comforting Things To Tell Yourself While In A Quarter-Life Crisis | Thought Catalog

    […] Read this: Why I Don’t Regret Getting Married (But I Regret Having A Husband) Read this: 36 Guys Share Their Biggest Turn Offs In A Single Girl’s Apartment Read this: An Experiment: I Went Back To My Cheating Ex-Boyfriend And This Is What Happened […]

  • https://thoughtcatalog.com/john-ersing/2015/03/applying-gender-roles-to-same-sex-couples/ Applying Gender Roles To Same-Sex Couples | Thought Catalog

    […] Read this: Why I Don’t Regret Getting Married (But I Regret Having A Husband) Read this: 36 Guys Share Their Biggest Turn Offs In A Single Girl’s Apartment Read this: An Experiment: I Went Back To My Cheating Ex-Boyfriend And This Is What Happened […]

  • https://thoughtcatalog.com/lauren-toronto/2015/03/15-reasons-why-you-shouldnt-date-anyone-who-likes-you-less-than-you-like-them/ 15 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Date Anyone Who Likes You Less Than You Like Them | Thought Catalog

    […] Read this: Why I Don’t Regret Getting Married (But I Regret Having A Husband) Read this: 36 Guys Share Their Biggest Turn Offs In A Single Girl’s Apartment Read this: An Experiment: I Went Back To My Cheating Ex-Boyfriend And This Is What Happened […]

  • https://thoughtcatalog.com/liz-brownlee/2015/03/i-dont-want-a-wedding-i-want-a-marriage/ I Don’t Want A Wedding, I Want A Marriage | Thought Catalog

    […] Read this: Why I Don’t Regret Getting Married (But I Regret Having A Husband) Read this: 36 Guys Share Their Biggest Turn Offs In A Single Girl’s Apartment Read this: An Experiment: I Went Back To My Cheating Ex-Boyfriend And This Is What Happened […]

  • https://thoughtcatalog.com/nicole-tarkoff/2015/03/3-articles-about-love-you-absolutely-need-to-read-right-now/ 3 Articles About Love You Absolutely Need To Read Right Now | Thought Catalog

    […] Read this: Why I Don’t Regret Getting Married (But I Regret Having A Husband) Read this: 36 Guys Share Their Biggest Turn Offs In A Single Girl’s Apartment Read this: An Experiment: I Went Back To My Cheating Ex-Boyfriend And This Is What Happened […]

  • http://tazolip.wordpress.com TazOlip

    Reblogged this on Koko dan Cece.

  • https://thoughtcatalog.com/crisel-blenda/2015/03/why-single-women-should-stop-worrying-theyll-be-alone-forever/ Why Single Women Should Stop Worrying They’ll Be Alone Forever | Thought Catalog

    […] Read this: 17 Things To Expect When You date A Girl Who’s Used To Being On Her Own Read this: 23 Things Girls Deserve From The Guy They’re With Read this: Why I Don’t Regret Getting Married (But I Regret Having A Husband) […]

  • https://thoughtcatalog.com/amanda-chatel/2015/03/10-steamy-sex-dreams-we-all-have-and-what-they-say-about-your-love-life/ 10 Steamy Sex Dreams We All Have And What They Say About Your Love Life | Thought Catalog

    […] Positions Men Absolutely Hate Read this: How To Make Love Like A Pro With These 6 Stellar Moves Read this: Why I Don’t Regret Getting Married (But I Regret Having A Husband) Read this: 35 People Reveal The Worst Thing About Losing Their […]

  • https://thoughtcatalog.com/angela-wilk/2015/03/what-its-like-to-be-a-flight-attendant-and-have-the-best-job-ever/ What It’s Like To Be A Flight Attendant (And Have The Best Job Ever) | Thought Catalog

    […] this: 23 Things Girls Deserve From The Guy They’re With Read this: Why I Don’t Regret Getting Married (But I Regret Having A Husband) Read this: 36 Guys Share Their Biggest Turn Offs In A Single Girl’s […]

  • https://thoughtcatalog.com/jess-cordell/2015/03/i-went-on-a-tinder-date-that-surprisingly-wasnt-a-hookup/ I Went On A Tinder Date That Surprisingly Wasn’t A Hookup | Thought Catalog

    […] Read this: 17 Things To Expect When You Date A Girl Who’s Used To Being On Her Own Read this: 23 Things Girls Deserve From The Guy They’re With Read this: Why I Don’t Regret Getting Married (But I Regret Having A Husband) […]

  • https://thoughtcatalog.com/rick-clemons/2015/03/5-tips-on-trust-that-will-make-any-relationship-survive/ 5 Tips On Trust That Will Make Any Relationship Survive | Thought Catalog

    […] Read this: 6 Signs You’re In Love With An Emotionally Unavailable Man Read this: The 10 Biggest Mistakes Women Make In Relationships Read this: 23 Things Girls Deserve From The Guy They’re With Read this: Why I Don’t Regret Getting Married (But I Regret Having A Husband) […]

  • http://nigeriatechnology.com/5-tips-on-trust-that-will-make-any-relationship-survive/ 5 Tips On Trust That Will Make Any Relationship Survive - NEWS | Phones | Nigeria Science | Technology |Computers

    […] Read this: 6 Signs You’re In Love With An Emotionally Unavailable Man Read this: The 10 Biggest Mistakes Women Make In Relationships Read this: 23 Things Girls Deserve From The Guy They’re With Read this: Why I Don’t Regret Getting Married (But I Regret Having A Husband) […]

  • https://thoughtcatalog.com/alanna-gibson/2015/03/9-reasons-its-okay-if-you-dont-want-to-marry-him/ 9 Reasons It’s Okay If You Don’t Want To Marry Him | Thought Catalog

    […] this: 23 Things Girls Deserve From The Guy They’re With Read this: Why I Don’t Regret Getting Married (But I Regret Having A Husband) Read this: 36 Guys Share Their Biggest Turn Offs In A Single Girl’s […]

  • thecheflibrarian

    Reblogged this on The Chef Librarian.

  • https://thoughtcatalog.com/alfonse-chiu/2015/03/why-we-should-never-ever-fall-in-love/ Why We Should Never Ever Fall In Love | Thought Catalog

    […] Read this: 17 Things To Expect When You Date A Girl Who’s Used To Being On Her Own Read this: 23 Things Girls Deserve From The Guy They’re With Read this: Why I Don’t Regret Getting Married (But I Regret Having A Husband) […]

  • https://thoughtcatalog.com/alex-alexander/2015/03/50-pieces-of-expert-advice-on-how-to-have-a-happy-marriage-from-50-marriage-professionals/ 50 Pieces Of Expert Advice On How To Have A Happy Marriage From 50 Marriage Professionals | Thought Catalog

    […] Read this: Nerd Alert: 10 Reasons Why Geeks Make The Best Husbands Read this: 15 REAL Marriage Vows I Should Have Made On My Wedding Day Read this: 15 Really Embarrassing Things I Need From My Future Husband Read this: Why I Don’t Regret Getting Married (But I Regret Having A Husband) […]

  • https://thoughtcatalog.com/veronica-granja-sierra/2015/03/7-reasons-traveling-with-your-significant-other-is-a-perfect-test-run-before-marriage/ 7 Reasons Traveling With Your Significant Other Is A Perfect Test Run Before Marriage | Thought Catalog

    […] Read this: 15 Really Embarrassing Things I Need From My Future Husband Read this: Here’s Where You Should Live Based On Your Myers Briggs Personality Type Read this: Why I Don’t Regret Getting Married (But I Regret Having A Husband) […]

  • https://thoughtcatalog.com/jolene-lum/2015/03/around-the-world-in-almost-lovers/ Around The World In Almost Lovers | Thought Catalog

    […] Read this: 17 Things To Expect When You Date A Girl Who’s Used To Being On Her Own Read this: 23 Things Girls Deserve From The Guy They’re With Read this: Why I Don’t Regret Getting Married (But I Regret Having A Husband) […]

  • https://thoughtcatalog.com/marie-loiseau/2015/03/8-honest-realizations-that-made-me-not-want-a-wedding/ 8 Honest Realizations That Made Me Not Want A Wedding | Thought Catalog

    […] this: Why Single Women Should Stop Worrying They’ll Be Alone Forever Read this: Why I Don’t Regret Getting Married (But I Regret Having A Husband) Read this: 15 Really Embarrassing Things I Need From My Future […]

  • https://thoughtcatalog.com/brooke-lark/2015/03/how-i-know-id-be-happier-if-i-never-had-children/ How I Know I’d Be Happier If I Never Had Children | Thought Catalog

    […] Support Feminism Read this: My Son Died, But I Have No Regrets About His Free-Range Childhood Read this: Why I Don’t Regret Getting Married (But I Regret Having A Husband) Read this: 7 Realizations That Convinced Me Not To Have […]

  • https://thoughtcatalog.com/kate-susa/2015/03/im-not-sweating-for-the-wedding-im-just-a-bride-to-be-who-exercises/ I’m Not ‘Sweating For The Wedding,’ I’m Just A Bride-To-Be Who Exercises | Thought Catalog

    […] Read this: Why I Don’t Regret Getting Married (But I Regret Having A Husband) Read this: 23 Things Girls Deserve From The Guy They’re With Read this: Why Single Women Should Stop Worrying They’ll Be Alone Forever […]

  • https://thoughtcatalog.com/carrie-hall/2015/03/true-love-is-when-he-loves-you-at-your-worst/ True Love Is When He Loves You At Your Worst | Thought Catalog

    […] Read this: Why I Don’t Regret Getting Married (But I Regret Having A Husband) Read this: 30 Quotes That Will Make You Rethink What Love Means Read this: Why Single Women Should Stop Worrying They’ll Be Alone Forever […]

  • https://thoughtcatalog.com/brit-tashjian/2015/03/10-steamy-secrets-to-have-mind-altering-sex-even-when-youre-married/ 10 Steamy Secrets To Have Mind Altering Sex Even When You’re Married | Thought Catalog

    […] Smoke Some Damn P*t Read this: Why This Proud Feminist Cooks, Cleans, And Caters To Her Husband Read this: Why I Don’t Regret Getting Married (But I Regret Having A Husband) Read this: 15 Really Embarrassing Things I Need From My Future […]

  • https://thoughtcatalog.com/serge-bielanko/2015/04/why-its-essential-to-marry-a-woman-who-cooks-from-a-mans-perspective/ Why It’s Essential To Marry A Woman Who Cooks From A Man’s Perspective | Thought Catalog

    […] Emotionally Complex Man Read this: 3 Types Of Amazing Women This Single Dad Hopes To Meet Someday Read this: Why I Don’t Regret Getting Married (But I Regret Having A Husband) Read this: 7 Realizations That Convinced Me Not To Have […]

  • https://thoughtcatalog.com/nicole-weaver/2015/04/4-problems-that-happen-when-you-marry-someone-with-a-lot-more-or-a-lot-less-money-than-you/ 4 Problems That Happen When You Marry Someone With A Lot More Or A Lot Less Money Than You | Thought Catalog

    […] BS Read this: 20 Marriage “Rules” I’ve Learned From Being A Psychotherapist Read this: Why I Don’t Regret Getting Married (But I Regret Having A Husband) Read this: 15 Really Embarrassing Things I Need From My Future […]

blog comments powered by Disqus