Why I Don’t Regret Getting Married (But I Regret Having A Wedding)

A little over a year ago I had my very own white wedding cliché. After months of stressful planning and teeth grinding at my mother in law to be, I was finally slipping awkwardly out of an overpriced car, in an overpriced dress, ready to walk the aisle in front of a hundred of what I thought were my closest friends and family.

There are two things I took away from this experience, first was my wonderful husband, and second was the newly found knowledge that weddings are SO overrated.

As children we dream of our big day, the media flaunt images of perfect women, and handsome men smiling and laughing as they prance around at their flawless ceremonies and receptions, so it’s easy to understand where our misplaced dreams come from. I was always partial to Cinderella, where fate stepped in, and whisked Cinderella away with her Prince Charming that saved her from a life of destitution. And you know those glass slippers were pretty stunning! That’s why my head was filled with perfect images as my big day approached. Then reality set in.

The closer I got to the wedding the more distraught I became. I suddenly realized a marriage is about the bride and groom; a wedding is about everyone else. No one was ever happy. The bridesmaids wanted different dresses, one sister thought she should be the maid of honor, but then didn’t want to help with anything. No one was happy with the seating plan, my parent’s wanted to change the menu, my in laws wanted to invite their friends that my husband and me didn’t even know! My dream of a perfect wedding was quickly spiraling into my perfect disaster.

Then the day came. I barely saw my husband, I felt like a poser putting on a fake smile for everyone’s cameras, and worst of all, there were so many people and I was expected to speak to everyone that I barely even ate anything from the menu that caused so much grief. So what the hell is all the fuss about?

If I could go back in time I would grab my husbands hand and run down to city hall. The money would be better spent on an incredible honeymoon, over a party I didn’t even like.

I honestly believe that weddings make us blind, literally to the point that we forget why we’re throwing them. The whole point of a wedding is to make a promise to the person you love, not to impress a lot of people, most of whom you don’t really care about. I only wish I had of realized this earlier.