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Some Beautiful Things You’re Allowed To Keep To Yourself

I.

Everyone doesn’t need to know that you’re dating someone. You can build a love story with the other person and not tell the entire world about it. The romantic connections that you have with someone aren’t going to be less special just because you choose to keep them to yourself. Privacy is a beautiful, rare thing. There is nothing to be gained in displaying your relationship very publicly — it’s fun at first, until it becomes a circus show. It’s possible to love someone openly and put everything that you have for one another behind the curtains. If both of you are confident about the happiness that you feel whenever you’re together, aware about the trust that you’ve built together, then that’s all that counts, no matter what people around you say.

II.

Your future plans are not guaranteed to happen. There is nothing more embarrassing than announcing them to the world and watch them not come to fruition. You’re allowed to confide your goals and ambitions to the person you’re dating or hanging out with. But maybe it’s okay not to inform your social media friends about them. People give better reactions when you surprise them. So don’t bore them with your constant updates about what you’re going to do in life; instead, shock them with your victories. That’s probably the best way to earn their respect.

III.

I strongly believe that dating several men in the past is something you should not feel ashamed of. Maybe it’s not your fault your previous attempt for relationships didn’t work out. And maybe you also couldn’t help it that few men wanted to ask you out before and that you wanted to give them chance. But please remember that the guy you’re dating now doesn’t need to know about those men. If he asks, then be honest — but don’t volunteer information. It’s nice to begin anew, to start with a clean slate. I’m sure there are million things that you’ve learned after dating a handful of men. Just keep those learnings to yourself and apply them to this relationship that you’re about to embark on with a new guy.

IV.

We live in a generation of, “If you didn’t capture it, then it didn’t happen”. And honey, that’s perhaps the reason why we’re all struggling with anxieties. We’re all worried about not photographing the perfect moment. We’re obsessed with virtual validations and likes and engagements and number of followers. This Instagram generation has grown to become a competition of who can make it seem like they have their shits together. And this plague needs to retire because it makes everyone exhausted. It’s not a bad idea to chill. It’s not depressing to just do nothing. You still have a wonderful life even if you don’t have a shiny and glorious internet persona.

V.

To live happily and tell no one is very hard. To fall in love with someone and not let the whole world know is a beautiful thing. It feels like you’re missing out when you’re not sharing important milestones in your life, but guarding your favorite moments is worth doing. It’s freeing to live and love and know in your heart that you’re not proving anything to anyone. You do what you want; you love who you want, just because — no complicated reasons, no hidden intentions. You’re sharing your soul with another person simply because you like them. Some things in life are just meant to keep to yourself. And that’s okay. That’s completely normal. Besides, isn’t wonderful to love, smile, and laugh and let the entire world wonder why?  TC mark

Angelo Caerlang

Angelo Caerlang is the author of Sparks in Broken Lights.

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