10 Things People Don’t Realize You’re Doing Because You’re Still Hurting From Your Previous Relationship

broken heart, hurting from a previous relationship, things you don't realize you're doing, sad girl
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1. Going over through old photographs of you and your ex.

When you feel alone at a party, you take your phone out of your purse and browse photographs of you and your ex-lover. You immediately feel nostalgic as soon as you scroll your fingers on your phone and look at the smiling faces behind your screen. You shake your head and unable to believe how quick people change. You look all around you and everyone seems to be having a good time while you’re right there, sitting in the corner, remembering how great your life used to be.

2. Refusing to go out with your friends.

You barely go out of your home because you’re scared that you might accidentally see your ex. You know deep down that you’re not quite ready to have an encounter with the person who broke your heart. You want to distance yourself far from him or her because you’re hoping that it’s the easiest way for you to move on. It’s the most convenient way for you to heal.

3. Lying when people ask you if you need help.

You keep telling people that you’re fine and there’s nothing they should worry about. But from the bottom of your heart, you know that’s a lie. You don’t show everyone how crushed you are because you don’t want them to think that you still have feelings for your ex. You don’t want them to give you some advice about how you should find someone else.

4. Listening to the playlist you and your ex adored before.

You lay in your bed and listen to the songs that you and your ex used to love. You close your eyes and recall the memories that you had with him or her. You sing the lyrics in your mind and feel the meaning behind them.

5. Checking your ex’s life on social media.

You don’t have the heart to unfriend your ex online. In a way, you’re still curious about how he or she is doing. You still want to be connected and stay updated in each other’s life. You don’t want to eliminate your ex in your life because you’re wishing that one day; you can be good friends with him or her. You can start all over again without any resentment towards each other.

6. Having the urge to call your ex in the middle of the night.

You’re on the brink of dialing your ex’s number, but your mind is preventing you from making a disastrous move. You stay away from your phone and breathe for a second to know whether it is really a right thing to do. It dawns upon you that it will only make the process of your moving on more complicated, so you let it go and forget about the thought of calling your ex. But the thought still haunts you every so often.

7. Becoming a little bit distrusting.

Somehow you believe that everyone who comes into your life will eventually leave. You see everything as temporary. You’re afraid to invest your feelings into someone else because you don’t want to end up feeling devastated once they’ve decided to walk out of your life. You don’t want to give pieces of yourself to people whom you’re not sure whether or not will stay with you forever.

8. Getting jealous when you learn that your ex is dating again.

Your ears turn red when you heard the news that your ex is dating someone new. You wonder how he or she could forget you so easily. Your initial reaction is that you feel betrayed.

9. Overeating (or other compulsive behaviors).

You’ve been craving so many foods since the day your ex broke up with you. Some of your friends notice that you’re gaining some weight, but you just shrug off their observations. Your vices bring happiness in your life and you don’t want to take that away from you. You don’t want to deprive yourself with something that gives you so much comfort.

10. Crying over sad movie endings.

You’re not crying because you’re watching alone. You’re crying because the ending of the movie you just watched reminds you of your previous relationship. You can relate with the lead character so much that somehow you think the story is written about you. You vow to watch the movie over and over again until you numb the pain you’re feeling, until the image of your ex completely vanishes out of your mind, and until your heart is ready to take risk again. TC mark

Angelo Caerlang

Angelo Caerlang is the author of Sparks in Broken Lights.

Seeds Planted In Concrete

This poetry collection by Bianca Sparacino is an assembly of words that celebrates the resilience of the human heart through stages of hurting, feeling, healing and loving.

“Be alone. Eat alone, take yourself on dates, sleep alone. In the midst of this you will learn about yourself. You will grow, you will figure out what inspires you, you will curate your own dreams, your own beliefs, your own stunning clarity, and when you do meet the person who makes your cells dance, you will be sure of it, because you are sure of yourself.”

★★★★★ “One of the best, if not the best, modern poetry collections you can read. Absolutely incredible. Her words are so wise, intricate and delicate that you feel them caressing your soul. I love this book, I love it so very much.” —Hayder

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