Our relationship was great at the very start. We had the kind of love that was genuine and honest. We didn’t have to pretend to be people we weren’t just to make good impressions. We immediately became comfortable with each other. And I was so happy to believe that I finally found something that would last a lifetime.
You were the person the world gifted to me for a short period of time. You were the one the world thought I needed during the time that I was on the brink of giving up. But it was so unfair for it to take you back when I was only beginning to have monumental moments in life with you.
It was too painful that our story, the one that looked perfect in my eyes, had to end.
I spent several nights quietly sobbing in my bed. I lived so many days not knowing who I was without you. I hated the world every time I woke up in the morning. I lied when people asked me if I was okay. I carried my broken heart with me and pretended it didn’t hurt.
Accepting you were no longer part of my life was hard. Forgetting all the memories we made, in order for me to move on, was harder. Letting go of you and convincing myself that you no longer matter was the hardest.
But I knew I had to end my romantic feelings for you, because it was not healthy anymore to keep holding on to you.
Someone told me that I would only miss incredible things in life by living in a story that was already over a long time ago. I would only hurt myself by keeping you alive in my heart, when your feelings for me already died.
It took a lot of effort for me to release all the remnants of my love for you, but I felt weightless as soon as I let you go.
Maybe it was for the best to leave everything we had in the past. It would be best for me to start over again. It would be great to find another person to love.
Pain wasn’t an easy thing for me to deal with, but I was determined to wash it away from my heart. I was willing to pick off the torn attached in my heart with my bare hands. I was brave enough to declare to the world that I wasn’t scared to be lonely anymore.
It felt good to give myself time to heal. It seemed better to redefine what I wanted to get out of love. And I finally thought that it was for the best to open my doors wide for someone new.
I didn’t want to be stuck with where I was standing because of you, and see everyone moving forward in their lives. I wanted to progress too, and the only way I could do that was to drop the dead weight of the past I was carrying with me. I needed to keep up with everyone. I needed to put myself out there again.
Putting an end to your role in my life was heartbreaking, but I’d be happier to experience something entirely different, something that’d give me hope in love, again.