I’m Single (And Perfectly Okay With It)

Pan Xiaozhen

I don’t think I’m prepared to be romantically involved with someone else. And not because I’m emotionally damaged or too heart broken, I just feel like I have a lot of things to figure out in my life outside of a relationship. I need to know myself more, and love myself more, before I share a part of me to somebody else.

You see, I grew up believing that the only way I could be truly happy is if I was in a stable, romantic relationship. I was told I wouldn’t feel complete unless I had a significant other. That I was unable to appreciate myself if I was all alone.

But I guess life doesn’t work that way. I guess there’s more to life than looking out for the perfect one. There’s more to life than hoping for a happily ever after.

I want to prove to myself that I am capable of being satisfied with my life even without a partner. I want to start a great adventure in pursuit of my happiness. I need to find out what I really want in life. Because lately, I’ve been stuck in a spiral of confusion and being in a relationship will not help me define my purpose.

I need to be on my own for a while and make the scattered pieces of my life whole. I want to own my time and experience everything in this world.

I want to jump off a cliff, dive in the ocean, rise above the water, and know that I can do scary things in life without having someone to encourage me to be strong. I want to roam around the streets of a city where people speak a different languages, and show myself that I’m able to survive any situation, without having someone to guide me. I want to discover breathtaking place, and realize that there are so many things in life other than falling in love.

I want to get lost in this world, instead of getting lost in someone else.

I am single and I am determined to stay this way. I am better at handling my heart with caution than anyone else. I am learning to be dependent on myself. I am trusting myself more. And I am becoming so good at being alone.

I don’t need a significant other to make me feel loved. I can provide myself the love that I am looking for. I don’t need someone to tell me how special I am. I already know I’m one of the kind. And I don’t need anyone to validate me. I am already enough for myself.

I don’t want to look back one day and regret the time I wasted chasing someone else instead of chasing the things that I love. This is the perfect time in my life to explore all the possibilities out there, to learn from my successes and failures, to take big risks, and to know that even if I make a wrong detour, I still have a chance to bring myself to the right direction.

Maybe it’s okay to not put myself in the dating world right now. Maybe it’s okay if I miss out my forever person while I’m enjoying my moments of being single. And maybe it’s okay to not have someone who brings butterflies in my stomach.

Being single is a gift I’m more than willing to receive and hold close to my heart. It’s an opportunity delivered in front of me—one which I have no intention of walking away from.

Being single is something I’m in the process of learning. And it is in this way that I am assured I’m going to find what I am ultimately looking for in life. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

About the author

Angelo Caerlang

Angelo Caerlang is the author of Sparks in Broken Lights.

More From Thought Catalog