Is It All Right To Hook Up With Your Cousin?

Charles Darwin married his cousin. They had ten children. Albert Einstein married his cousin too. So did Jesse James and H.G Wells. And the list goes on and on — millions and millions of people marry their relatives. In a few Middle Eastern nations, marriage between cousins accounts for almost half of all marriages. And in the Western hemisphere, cousin marriage is legal in Europe, Mexico and Canada and in at least 20 states in the U.S.A.

Incest is alive and well in the modern world.

And so what? What’s the big deal? The sexual revolution happened over a century ago and the leading figure of that whole movement — Freud — based his psychobabble on the fact he wanted have sex with his mom. His mom! So why is cousin sex and marriage still so taboo?

I tried to hook up with my cousin once. We were drunk and, at least in my head, flirting. I told her I wouldn’t mind hooking up with her and leaned in for a kiss. It did not end well. And, now, honestly I don’t think she’ll ever want to be in the same room with me again. But, seriously, what gives? Why all the fuss?

The birth defect excuse doesn’t work. Modern science makes it possible to reproduce with your cousin without giving birth to a freak of nature. (And anyway, what’s wrong with giving birth to a freak of nature in the first place? Aren’t we supposed to love everyone even if they’re special? Particularly if they’re special?)

Who says there has to be a deformed baby to worry about at all? What if Tom hooks up with his cousin Mark on a family vacation, and they end up getting married and living happily ever after? Actually, what if Mark and Tom were brothers and that happend? Or twins? What is wrong with that? It’s love. They were born this way! Who are we to judge them and tell them whom they can and cannot love?

Our intolerance towards cousin love and other forms of incest makes me think perhaps we aren’t that liberated. Is secular America, for example, more sexually liberated than the ancient Greeks were? The ancient Greeks practically invented the orgy. They seemingly embraced homosexuality. They were incredible sexual beings, primal and true to the nastiness of nature. Violent and virile brutes! Just look at the art portraying their sexual behavior back then. It’s men, women, kids, and animals all gettin’ jiggy.

Hell, I might go so far as to ask — is secular America more sexually liberated than conservative Islam? While secular America is more tolerant towards homosexuality, Islam is more tolerant towards cousin incest; the Quran allows you to marry your cousin. Moreover, at least theoretically speaking, isn’t this so-called sexual repression thing potentially incredibly erotic? Think of sex like boiling water. In secular America, we boil with microwaves: quickly, directly, mechanically — it’s a science, a biological function. In “repressed” societies they seem to boil with fireplaces: slowly, indirectly, ethereally — it’s something sacred. I don’t know, just saying maybe there’s something there.

Anyway, cousin, if you’re reading this: I’m sorry for making you feel uncomfortable. But girl, you have my number, so call me maybe? TC mark

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  • http://twitter.com/NikaFromPeopleG Nika (@NikaFromPeopleG)

    I’m really not sure what I read here just now…

  • H

    Uh oh, I was laughing until the pedophile bit. Also in that context it’s pedophilia, you don’t “embrace pedophile” unless you’re like, hugging a pedophile.

    • Jye

      Nope… Nope… Definitely not going to embrace a pedophile, embrace pedophilia or my cousins… Definitely not… Or my brother/sister…. This has nothing to do with being liberal or boiling water. Honestly, the idea of even dating my cousin….>>> D: <<< That's my face…

      • H

        Glad to hear it.

  • RAH

    Haha. – Twisted and hysterical.

  • Nic

    WTF seriously?

  • http://gravatar.com/nishantjn nishantjn

    That was disturbing. And some very irresponsible referencing to Greek civilizations and Islam.

  • http://gravatar.com/janjamm jan

    I’m wondering if the “orgy” paintings are the equivalent of Playboy Magazine, all fantasy, little reality.

  • http://twitter.com/Gilthwixt Patrick M (@Gilthwixt)

    Longest set up for a Carly Rae Jepsen joke I have ever seen

    • http://archiblog22.wordpress.com tnsquared

      YES.

    • J

      Hahhaha! I know.

  • hambuk

    I live in Pakistan. Most of them here are marrying their cousins. I for myself got concerned and intended not to be with any of my cousin because of the birth defects and dumb children. But what I don’t understand is that people marrying outside their family also face birth defects and kids with low IQ… I need more knowledge in this matter :S

  • Epic Quixote

    these is a super hilarious article with truth dripping all over it…!
    u got a brilliant sense o humor.

  • Danielle

    Very interesting thoughts on marrying your cousin. There is alot I get, alot I dont. I would need more facts on the giving birth to a defective child thing!

  • hannahdahhling

    another large piece of this puzzle is that the large amount of incest that this author is advocating for, is that it can stem from sexual abuse, i.e. the pedophilia that the author poorly mentioned. if incest in families is okay, what this author is advocating for, the what about fathers & daughters, mothers & sons? what is the author’s opinion on those unions? in a large amount of sexual abuse cases, & not just underage individuals, (anyone can be sexually abused & taken advantage of) it’s a family member, so we’re going to start telling the boy who was molested by his older brother from the ages of 7 to 13 that he should just suck it up, love his brother , & get married to him? i deeply disagree. the reason many people married their cousins in “the olden days” is to keep family wealth, to preserve the name, and because there was poor communication between cities, & countries. now you can make connections between someone half a world away. as for the other cultures mentioned, there’s a reason our society has moved away from “cousin love.” why don’t you put your mediocre writing skills to good use & call for a change in our society that would be beneficial?

    • koko

      nicely said. totally agree.. also, the whole birth defect thing, it goes much deeper than that. marrying ur cousin might not produce a child with no fingers, but blood disorders, certain types of cancers and such which are hereditary can occur. and if both cousins posses the genes for such diseases, your child might look completely normal but will be sick and require medical care life long. I am a doctor in India, where marrying your cousin is the norm, and we get a lot of kids as young as few months old with Thalassemias and all sorts of hereditary blood diseases , getting monthly blood transfusions, and they almost always have a short life span, all because their parents both carry the genes, being related and all. what this so-called writer needs is an education.

  • seikel

    I’ve had a menage with my cousin, it was fantastic.

  • N.

    Uhm… no, just no.

    They embraced Platonic Love between Mentors and Students or between Soldiers, they didn’t embraced homosexuality. In fact, homosexuality was completely normal.
    They despised pedophiles and bestiality, although they had quite a few fierce Semi-Gods like Pans and Siellos who fucked everything on sight but still, no children.

    What you showed, labeled as “Ancient Greece” is from the Roman Empire, where the orgies originated, and where everyone was fucking everyone and everything.
    Get your damn facts straight, I’m tired of reading about how my ancestors were embracing homosexuality, pedophilia and bestiality.

  • Erin

    Was this article written by George Michael Bluth?

    • azafar

      YES.

  • http://www.facebook.com/michellerows Michelle Garcia

    Some people just have hot cousins…

  • Ruby

    I stopped reading this article, when Freud was mentioned by your uneducated brain! His “psychobabble” is so beyond amazing, that you are unable to COMPREHEND exactly what his implications are. And he never wanted to have sex with his mom, you illiterate writer who gets to post public writings on a public website. Read more, and understand the concept before you base your articles off of them.

    P.s. I am never this mean! But seriously, read your shit first, and then write.

    • http://twitter.com/Bealtaine6 chloe cass (@Bealtaine6)

      Was Freud not disproved about the oedipal complex?

  • Eve Starshine

    it makes me sad that people are taking this article seriously :{

    • N.

      It’s not that we take this article seriously, it’s that the fact in this article ARE WRONG.

      Major difference.

  • A.A.

    My grandmother and grandfather were cousins. They had six children, one of which died stillborn and three of which passed away at their late teens due to muscle dystrophy, one after another. My uncle got liver cancer and passed away ten years ago. My mother had underdeveloped kidneys and develop renal failure and required a kidney transplant in her early twenties.

    The doctors pointed out that all these were due to the cousin-to-cousin relationship. My grandmother lived long enough to see all of her children except for my mother pass away in her lifetime due to this.

    This essay is not only disturbing, its also ignorant and irresponsible of the possible consequences, things that have affected other people and hurt them in a lot of ways.

    • http://gravatar.com/nishantjn nishantjn

      Exactly. Absolutely unintelligent and thoughtless, in the name of liberalism.

      • rah

        I read it as satire.

  • Bad Girl

    Article is perfect. I am not sure about those untruthful facts in it (historical and sh=t), the view fits perfectly with the way I think.
    Today, I had sex with a relative (his grandfather and my grandmother were siblings).
    And? What is exactly wrong with having sex with a person that you feel attracted to ?
    Besides the fact that today I saw him for the second time in my life.
    And we are not planning to take this seriously, we are just going to have some fun sexual relationship. :)

  • Goldfish

    while Islam allow you to marry your cousins, it is advisable not to do so unless you are marrying your distant cousin

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