Life is a bitch. I’m not sure what just fucked you over. Maybe it was a breakup, losing your job, getting in a fight with your best friend, failing a test, losing a loved one, or something else. I don’t know what it is but I bet it fucking sucks if you took the time to open this up. So yes, life is a bitch and that bitch can show up in all different ways. But let’s not forget when Lil Wayne told us that “life is a beach” and that he’s just “playing in the sand.” You too could be playing in the sand and I’m going to give you some tips on how to get there.

I’m not going to give you some bullshit list with 10 things to follow because that’s one of the things I hate about this world. Everyone is different and because of that, every situation is different. So instead of me giving you a 10 step list only for you to waste your time finding out it didn’t work for you, I’m just going to give some advice.

First—you are strong. I know this sounds so basic and overused, but it’s true. Take a few minutes to think about how far you’ve come, all the obstacles you’ve gotten through—and think about yourself relative to the world, not just your background or where you came from. For example, if your whole family went to high school or college you may think to complete those things aren’t a big deal, but in comparison to the world, they ARE. And if you didn’t complete either of those things, I’m positive you still have something you’ve done to be proud of. Replace mourning over the losses in life with the wins, no matter how big or small they may be.

Now think about your coping mechanisms. Is it talking with friends, is it listening to music, is it writing? Whatever it is, you better make some time in your life to do it. Cause the longer you push it off, the longer it will take you to rebuild yourself. It is ok to break down, it is ok to feel, it is ok to not know how you feel, it is ok to not want to talk to others about it. I hate it when people are so quick to judge and claim someone is acting so “abnormally” at a low point in their life. NEWS FLASH to the world, everyone is different! Not everyone copes the same and that is OK. Your job is to find out what method works best for you, and if you don’t know what that is, it’s ok. Take some time, do some research, try some different methods until you find what works for you.

One thing that sucks is that this is a timely process. You most likely aren’t going to bounce back in a week or so. I feel a lot of times people think they are over the rut and ready to move on, only to go on with their life and realize a few weeks later they are back in the same spot. I can’t give you an amount of time it’s going to take, but I promise giving something time—as long as you are also putting forth the effort—will help you. You can’t let time drag on and not work on trying to cope and heal. I feel this will put you into even a further rut and screw up your life more. So I’m telling you to be aware of this and take as much time as you need to until you are fully healed.

So what do you want to do next? Where do you want your life to go? How do you want your life to be? If you’re like me, this probably changes every five minutes. That’s ok, pick one place to start and get your foundation. You may not even know, have zero clue. My advice for this is to start researching. What do you love to do? What makes you happy? Do you ever catch yourself getting in the routine of something and realize you are genuinely happier and miss doing that thing once you fall out of routine? Start there. Think outside the box and think around the box. Dedicate time to the things that make you happy in life. Begin with your happiness and well being and everything else will follow. What if you don’t have anything that makes you happy? Get out there and try something new! You don’t know you love doing something until you do it.

Once you figure this out, make a plan. Whether it’s hardcore deadlines or just a couple things you’ve brainstormed. If you set hardcore deadlines I don’t recommend being hard on yourself if you don’t achieve things because life—well it happens and sometimes it is a bitch and just wants to fuck everything else up.

Dust yourself off. There are brighter days ahead of you. Some of the best days of your life haven’t even happened yet—a quote from How I Met Your Mother (great show btw that has a lot of good life lessons in it). I beg you, do not stay in whatever rut you are in. You are strong, find a way to cope, find what you love and what you want to do in life and get out there to make those dreams come true. Don’t put yourself in a box, don’t limit your capabilities. Capabilities are BUILT. You can reconstruct, reinvent, any part of yourself, any part of your life whenever you want. There are people in this world that believe in you and are thrilled by your success’ in life. Life is a beach so get out there and get covered in the sand.