It’s happened. We’ve evolved past the simple gratitude of being really, really ridiculously good looking. Being breathtakingly gorgeous can really take its toll on a woman’s psyche, or so I’ve heard. In an honest effort to help these women I have come up with some tips and suggestions on how to deal with the crippling burden of being beautiful.
The Jealous Friend Problem
Instead of focusing on the fact that all of your girlfriends secretly hate you, try focusing on their appearance. They’ll never be as pretty as you, but I’m sure if you look really hard you’ll find something to be jealous of. Or at least find something that an average looking person could be jealous of. And once you do, let them know. Making your friends feel good about themselves is a great way to distract both parties from the obvious truth that your looks reign supreme. If this doesn’t work and they’re still green with envy, find new friends. Or better yet, find friends that are even more attractive than you are. It might be nearly impossible but with the right amount of dedication, I’m confident that you could find at least one.
The Male Friend Problem
When it comes to your guy friends, there’s not much you can do about their desire to sleep with you. That’s not going anywhere. But I’m going to let you in on a little secret. They are not constantly fantasizing about it. Maybe some are, I don’t know, but that means they’re scumbags and you shouldn’t be associating with them anyway. But if we’re talking about any decent male human being on the planet, the kind that you desire to keep a friendship with, you’re probably making a bigger deal out of it than they are. Sure, they’d love to have sex with you, but they have a soul, too. I’m sure if you disregarded their sexual desires you could find some really cool things to talk about or some really fun friend activities to do that will make them see you as more than just a piece of meat. No one is going to assume you’re an airhead if you don’t present yourself as an airhead. The problem is that you’re expecting them to think less of your insides because of your outsides but you’re not doing anything about it. You’re not going to think someone is funny if they don’t make you laugh. You’re not going to think someone is generous if they don’t give. We are all constantly judging one another based on outward appearances until they prove us wrong. It’s human nature. It applies to everyone, not just the beautiful people. The more you act like your looks don’t define you and that you have much more to offer, they will naturally believe it too. You’re gorgeous. Of course it’s their initial motive for being around you. And yes, they might just fall helplessly in love after they see what a dazzling personality you have. But there’s a simple solution to that, ladies. Fart in front of them.
The Constantly Being Harassed By Strange Men Problem
Stand up for yourself. Be a bitch. If you honestly feel violated, you will feel no remorse for putting some creep in his place. Or, if you don’t feel very violated, you could calmly acknowledge the annoyance and let it go. Ignore the perpetrator, realize that the situation doesn’t deserve one minute of your precious time, and move on with your day.
The Free Drinks, Food, Etc. Problem
Just kidding, everyone loves free shit and you’re a big fat liar if you pretend it’s not one of the biggest perks of being attractive. Or maybe you just missed the ‘Free Samples’ sign.
The Ego Problem
Finally, it’s important to realize that although your looks sometimes do affect the way people treat you, no one is obsessing over it as much as you are. You are giving yourself less credit as a woman than anyone else is. Rise above it, girlfriend! Maybe consider that a lot of people actually do look at you as a real person and you haven’t noticed because you’re too busy thinking about the small population of people that don’t. Maybe that guy at the bar paying attention to your friend is really just more interested in your friend and not too intimidated by your beauty to talk to you. And that’s okay. Maybe the best way to make other people take you seriously is to take yourself less seriously.