Amanda Van Slyke

I’ve always been seen as difficult — even from the beginning. And I’m sick of being expected by society to bow my head and be quiet.

When my partner and I were intimate, things turned to slow motion — and not the good kind. I couldn’t get into sex if my body wouldn’t respond accordingly. Before, it would barely take anything to make me aroused. I wanted it all the time. Now, getting wet took a lot longer, and having an orgasm was almost impossible and not nearly as enjoyable.

What if we didn’t have to work our way up the ladder or get more likes on social media or have the newest product advertised?

This has helped me to lose all expectations of my relationships with other people — people I work with, my friends, my lovers. Not in a way where I don’t have needs that have to be met, but where I’ve come to realize that different people will meet my needs in different ways.

If I were you right now, I’d be wondering why the hell I stayed for two years. But just like every relationship out there, there were both good and bad parts.

I never set out to break the girl code, but my habits won over my morals and with every drink, my inhibitions loosened.