If someone were to generalize what my “type” of guy used to be… it would be >asshole. You know, like the tall, dark, and handsome jerks who never called, never met the family, never let me have the remote, and never EVER listened to what I had to say. So please note that I said “used to be” because after long and endless months of friend interventions and psychotherapy, I truly believe I have FINALLY found a nice and respectable guy who actually treats me right. Finding him is literally like finding a unicorn. We need to capture this species of men…study it…and clone it.
1. I’m actually pretty and gorgeous?
What people don’t realize is that when you’re constantly dating assholes, you never realize how beautiful you are because you spend so much time focused on how gorgeous he is. He might even remind you what a stunning catch he is and how you’re soooooooo lucky to have such a jerk face like him. Yea so what I realized is that, nice guys DON’T DO THIS. They focus on how beautiful you are every single day and how they are the ones who are lucky to have you!
2. You want me to meet your friends?
Surprise. Nice guys actually like to show off their girlfriends to their friends. A nice guy will go to his friends and tell all of them how freaking smart, pretty, amazing and perfect you are to the point where they will actually start to get jealous that he’s dating you. So if he barely talks about you to his friends or, even worse, keeps you a secret, then don’t expect him to plan on keeping you for a long time.
Also on a side note… if his friends are jerks, he’s probably a jerk too. But if it seems like he’s still a nice guy despite the jerk friends, I am 100% positive he acts like a jerk around his friends, so by transitive property, he’s still a jerk.
3. I can actually talk about myself?
Nice guys actually care about what you have to say. They want to know when you’re upset or crying. They want to know about your day, even if it just consists of eating Nutella out of a jar and watching Netflix all day. They want to know how you are, and if you’re feeling really shitty, they’re going to do everything in their power to make your day a little less shitty. This concept was just so mind-blowing to me because I’ve dated guys whose reactions were… “Why are you sad? Well it wasn’t me, I didn’t do anything, but I had a great day!” Gee, thanks.
4. You want to make time for me?
I always used to see it as me trying to squeeze myself into their busy schedules. Reality check: if you’re dating an asshole, you’re not exactly on top of their priority list. It’s food, sleep, gym, TV, Call of Duty, Clash of Clans…then maybe MAYBE they might make time for you unless the new season of House of Cards is out. A nice guy isn’t going to throw around these stupid excuses to not see you; he might even move around things throughout the week to see you because he values the time he spends with you and loved making you happy.
So you’re probably thinking “Duh…these are all common sense,” of course they are! But the sad part is that you don’t realize these nice and wonderful things exists until you live it yourself and date a nice guy.