‘Tis the season of finals; the days of procrastination and abnormal sleeping patterns. With that being said, as I sit in my bed watching a documentary about nuns, I figured I should procrastinate more and talk about the one and only, Taylor Swift.
As you probably know, almost every song off of her five albums is about a boy. Now what if you took out the boy and replaced him with finals? Well wonder no more; here is what some of her songs would be about.
1. “Notes to Burn”: This is the song about getting rid of all your notes at the end of the semester. You are getting rid of all of those horrible memories of waking up at a godforsaken hour of the day to attend, only because there is an attendance policy and you scroll through social media the whole time.
2. “Teardrops on My Final Exam”: This should be self-explanatory. You pulled an all-nighter and still don’t know a damn thing for your final. You may even contemplate not even going to take the test because you think somehow you may get a better grade if you don’t show up.
3. “Tied Together With a Cup of Coffee”: We all know that coffee is the only way you are keeping it together during this dreaded week. You cannot wait to get back to your beloved bed and sleep, but until then, coffee your little brain out because without it there is a chance you will die.
4. “Hey Teacher”: This is you going to your professors office hours during exam week trying to get her to round up that one test that you got a 89.6. She tells you she doesn’t round up and that it is “in the syllabus.” You think that you will probably hate her forever for not giving you an A, but I assure you you’ll get over it the second you walk out of her office.
5. “Back to August”: This one is about all those classes you missed on those beautiful days in August to go to the pool. You reminisce on those fantastic days and wonder why you decided missing three weeks of class was a good idea when you had a cumulative final.
6. “State of Panic”: When you remember about a huge paper you have to do only hours before it is actually supposed to be turned in. You want to panic, but you realize you can NOT waste valuable essay writing time on panicking; you can panic about your grade once you turn it in.
7. “We Are Never Ever Gonna Pass This Test”: Picture this: You are in a study room in the library with people from your hardest class trying to cram everything and anything. It’s been 10 hours and you still don’t know as much as you need to even pass the final exam. This is the song about the point in which you finally accept the fact that you are going to fail.
8. “Welcome to Hell”: You sing this every time you enter the library (or any other designated study zone). Every other day of the semester the library is empty, but oh no, not this week. This week the library is a war zone of people fighting for tables and trying not to have their brains explode from information overload. This place minus well be renamed for the week to “Hell” during this week because you know hell has got to be exactly like the library during finals week.
9. “How You Get the ‘A’”: You know in elementary school when teachers would teach you songs to remember vocabulary or spelling words? Well this is the song that 20-year-old you comes up with in hopes to remember enough to pass that super hard 4000 level class you now know you shouldn’t have taken in the first place.
10. “Blank Space”: Your final is all essays. This could go either really well, or horribly wrong. It may even cross your mind that you should just leave one blank because what is the worst that could happen? Then you calculate what your grade would be, quietly cry to yourself and decide to take a chance and not leave a blank space on your exam.