Yes, you. This letter isn’t addressed to anyone but your eyes because there’s no one who needs this refresher more than you. Call it an intervention, call it an awakening, but sit firmly and take note of the words I am about to spew you.
How are you feeling? Don’t lie to yourself. Are you actually okay or are you becoming an expert at hiding it all, all that guilt, sorrow and disappointment? Don’t reiterate the fallacy of “I’m fine” to me because your eyes tell me another story. When did your eyes get so empty and solemn? When did they lose their gleam? When did you lose your notorious youthful hope and beliefs?
Life. Life happened, you tell me. Life happened and drowned you in all of its synonymous growing pains. Failure of all sorts, failure is what you have come to know. Failure is a lot of us “young adults” know too well. Are we even “young adults”? Do we even have claim to such responsibility? Or are we just children playing dress up? That’s what all of this feels like lately, right? Doesn’t this entire adult routine you’re trying to master just feel like a pretense, a cruel charade of continuous failed attempts?
What ails you dear human? What demons brew inside that have rendered you in bitter defeat? Is it doubt? Are you unclear of what to do, with life and love? Have you made decisions to this day that feel pointless? Has everything you’ve done to “grow up” feel insufficient? A university education wasn’t enough? Unable to pursue your dreams and unsure of what even those are? Job prospects are dim? Can’t move out? Stuck at home? Are you sick with heartache? Are you exhausted from continuous efforts but failed relationships? Are you alone? Do you wish, just wish you could get something right?
Pause here, and breathe. Deep breaths now. This is something a lot of “young adults” don’t do; we don’t learn to forgive ourselves. It’s not your fault, whatever pains you, is not your fault. It’s alright to feel, alright to screw up, alright to not be where you want to in life, yet. It’s alright to feel inadequate, to feel that aspects of your life do not equate to foreseen expectations. But before you even begin to address your external grievances, you must tackle what brews internally.
Reconcile with yourself first darling. Repent, repent, repent all of that misery which consumes you. Cleanse yourself of this sorrow. Forgive yourself, forgive yourself for what you’ve done or couldn’t do and for what has happened to you. Settle for once what wounded you and make peace and space for what can restore you. Find harmony again in existing, in knowing that you are not failing but doing the best you can. Your best may vary in the day to day, but right now in this exact moment, there is nothing more superior, more beautiful than acceptance and letting go. Let go of your disappointment. You have not failed at this adulthood journey yet. Isn’t time the fortune of a “young adult?” Imagine all of which is yet to happen. Imagine the endless beginnings and second chances. Imagine that the failures of today will be replaced by tomorrow’s successes. Reclaim the youthful gleam of your childhood, when you believed with such absolute certainty in your abilities. You have not failed nor are you lost. You exist here, in this forgiving world of solace and it is here that you will appease your soul.