8 Struggles Of Being An Extrovert With Social Anxiety


Being an extrovert with social anxiety is not easy and is, at minimum, extremely contradictory. Here’s why:

1. I’m always lonely

I love being around people, they are where I get my energy. Sadly, being with people and making new friends terrifies me. Unless one of my trusted close friends is available to sit in hiding with me, I’ll probably just suffer the loneliness.

2. Being alone makes me just as anxious as being with people

But being with people is more dangerous. I might say something or do something stupid with a witness. At least if I’m alone, the only person I am freaking out is myself.

3. I’m a leader

I am a natural born leader. I know how to delegate, how to do things logically and orderly, and I know what sacrifices the team will have to make to succeed. I can even motivate people to do exactly what I want them to. However, talking in front of people is usually not an option. Instead, I’ll just do whatever someone else says to even though I thought of a better way to do things 3 hours ago and quietly seethe.

4. I love parties

Parties are the best things in the world. Even if I am just standing in the corner quietly, inside I am glowing. My birthday party is the best day of the entire year because I get to hand-select people who I am comfortable with to surround me and embrace the rare opportunity to let my real personality show—the talkative, loud, fun one. However, a party can be immediately ruined if I am forced to meet someone, do something I don’t want to, am criticized for observing rather than participating, or drink too much to numb the anxiety. Being too drunk at a party means I will be the life of the party…until I throw up.

5. I HATE surprises

Birthday parties are the best day of the year…unless they are a surprise; then they are the worst day of the year. I have walked out of restaurants because I found out that the waiter was preparing to sing to me. I need to know who I am seeing and for how long before any social interaction begins. I may even need a week to prepare for the event. Another reason birthday parties are great: I have an entire year to mentally prepare for them.

6. I’m a flake

I will make plans with you when I’m feeling relaxed and get really excited about them. If I happen to be feeling nervous when it is time for us to actually hang out, or if the impending doom of accidentally seeing someone who isn’t you is too much to handle, we are going to have to reschedule. Sorry. I really do want to hang out, though. Maybe just come over to my house instead?

7. I’m accidentally awkward

I’m an open book. I have no secrets. Unfortunately, in social situations I sometimes panic and say inappropriate things to an acquaintance. I am naturally talkative but being scared to speak ends in me having 90% of the conversation with you in my head. Sometimes parts of this secret conversation accidentally come out and it is nothing less than awkward. What it looks like: some quiet girl standing their silently most of the time and then randomly blurting out something way too personal. Examples have included health issues and bad childhood memories.

8. I’m adventurous

In the past 6 months I have lived in 3 different countries, but I haven’t made any new friends. Instead, I’ll just sit at home and Skype of Facebook Message people I already know. But I really, really want some cool foreign friends. Text me (no phone calls, please). TC mark

More From Thought Catalog

Calming CBD Dog Treats

Looking to calm your dog down without embarrassing yourself or having to get prescription medication? 100% THC free, lip-smacking peanut butter flavor, legal in all US states.

“My dog is my best friend and knowing that she had separation anxiety was killing me. Knowing that her CBD oil keeps her at ease while I’m at work or out is a relief. For both of us.”
— Kendra Syrdal

Thought Catalog readers get 20% off using coupon code: ANXIETY20

Buy CBD dog treats
8 Struggles Of Being An Extrovert With Social Anxiety is cataloged in , , ,
  • http://www.yourinspiredaction.com/march-round-up/ March Round Up - Your Inspired Action

    […] being an introvert.  People with social anxiety just prefer to be alone, right? Nope. Here are 8 Struggles of Being an Extrovert with Social Anxiety.  My extroverted half could definitely relate to a lot of these.  Could […]

  • https://jms1health.wordpress.com/2015/10/28/anxious-affliction-social-anxiety-at-rhodes/ Anxious Affliction: Social Anxiety at Rhodes | The Future of Health Nuts

    […] Socially anxious people experience severe distress in seemingly benign situations. As with any form of anxiety, it can be difficult to understand or relate to people’s SAD. For one thing, it has no single cause. Some are born with it, while others may develop anxiety because of environmental factors or life events. Some don’t even appear shy – extroverts can be socially anxious too. […]

  • http://newsforamerica.co/7-signs-you-might-have-social-anxiety-disorder/ 7 Signs You Might Have Social Anxiety Disorder – News For America

    […] judgement and mistakes. (That’s not to say there’s not an overlap; there often is. But socially anxious extroverts do exist, and have a pretty awful […]

  • http://chronicsolutions.club/7-signs-you-might-have-social-anxiety-disorder/ 7 Signs You Might Have Social Anxiety Disorder | Chronic solutions

    […] judgement and mistakes. (That’s not to say there’s not an overlap; there often is. But socially anxious extroverts do exist, and have a pretty awful […]

  • http://medicalnewstoday.online/7-signs-you-might-have-social-anxiety-disorder/ 7 Signs You Might Have Social Anxiety Disorder – Medical News Today

    […] fear of judgement and mistakes. (That’s not to say there’s not an overlap; there often is. But socially anxious extroverts do exist, and have a pretty awful […]

blog comments powered by Disqus