The dreaded act of coming on way too strong is something we’re all guilty of at some point (even me… especially me). You get so excited by the idea and prospect of someone that you go mortifyingly overboard with your attentions and completely freak them out. You mean well, but the damage is done. Here are the major and painfully obvious signs to watch for in yourself and your friends, and stop (please stop):

1. You send 3+ texts to every one he sends you. Like you just can’t shut up and be casual. You need to keep spewing constant word vomit, desperate to throw something out there he will latch on to and communicate with you about.

2. He takes hours to text you back. True, sometimes people are just busy, but if it’s a common thing that he doesn’t get back to you for insanely long periods of time, run. Just run. He sure is.

3. He doesn’t text you back. Ever.

4. He avoids you in public. Not in a really rude, turn and dash way, just in a, not-meeting-your-eyes and going-out-of-his-way-to-look-busy way. He doesn’t want to interact with you because he knows you’ll corner him in an awkward conversation.

5. He has a myriad of excuses to turn down your (many) attempts to get him to hang out. From family birthdays to baseball games to unexpected trips around the country, he’s pulling out all the stops to turn you down in a fairly nice way. You will either choose to believe him or not, and neither choice will make you pursue him any less.

6. He’s subtweeting. #EnoughSaid.

7. His friends know about you. And not in a good way. In a point and stare, “there’s the crazy one he’s always talking about, I wonder what she’ll do” way.

8. He’s not responding to even your sexiest of sexts. Come on now. You’re better than that.

9. When he finally does give in to your seductions, he’s a ghost afterwards. He knows he messed up and you will become that much clingier, so it’s time for the freeze out. Prepare to be completely ignored.

10. He changes his number. If you’re talking to a guy and he up and changes his number without telling you, that’s the reddest of flags. And if you can’t take that hint, while I don’t judge you, I do fear for you.

11. He deletes you from Facebook. He’s tired of you liking and commenting on every picture and status update, so you got the boot. The “who’s that girl in the picture you were just tagged in? She’s pretty” remark didn’t help.

12. He tells you you’re scaring the shit out of him. And asks you to back off. For your sanity, dignity and reputation, I suggest you do it.

Listen, while the list above is true, don’t take it too hard. There’s probably something about you that intimidates him and he can’t handle it for whatever reason. Maybe you’re really smart, or really bold and uninhibited. Maybe you’re really brave. Maybe you’re both just really different. He doesn’t deserve your attention if he’s not going to appreciate it. Find someone who does, and you can forget all about this list — and this guy.