So. The majority of my friends are…for lack of a better expression, having a shit summer.
There. I said it. Sorry to out you on Thought Catalog, guys. I’ll buy you Starbucks later.
Basically, from what I’ve gathered in my conversations with them, they feel as though they’d been blindsided in ended relationships. How could someone say I love you today, and be gone tomorrow? What kind of weight did the words “future” and “best friend” even hold if it’s over? Are promises really even promises if they can be so easily broken?
Though I’ve been doing my best to comfort them with kind words and reminders that they are strong, beautiful and wonderful people who will get through their various hardships, my mind keeps wandering off to my favorite movie.
I think taste in movies (along with taste in music) can say a lot about a person. For example, if you’re all about the violent action film, we probably shouldn’t hang. So that’s why, when asked my favorite movie, I always feel a little embarrassed. Or, maybe that’s not the right adjective. I just feel the need to explain. So here is my public explanation:
(500) Days of Summer is a story of a man, Tom, and a woman, Summer, and, to put it simply, their relationship. The narrator tells the viewer in the first 5 minutes of the movie that though the story is about a boy and girl, it isn’t a love story.
I think it would be really easy to say that (500) Days of Summer is a sad movie. Tom doesn’t end up with Summer. Summer so coldly refuses to define her relationship with Tom because she “doesn’t believe in love” only to break up with him and end up engaged to another man. We’re forced to see Tom go through this heartache and ultimately lose hope in meaningful, true love. Yes, no doubt about it. Parts of this movie are sad.
But more than sad, I see it as one of the most honest movies ever made. The world is FILLED with Toms. Heck, I’m a Tom. We meet someone. We think they’re incredible. We decide that they will be the person to complete us. That having them in our lives will make everything better. It’s so easy to get wrapped up in someone new and decide that THEY are what our lives are missing. When talking about the movie, a lot of people express their sympathy for Tom. How could Summer be so terrible to him? Why won’t she just call their relationship what it is?
But then we also forget those times that we’ve been a Summer. Those times where we meet someone new and just aren’t….really sure. We test the waters, and decide maybe a little too late that they aren’t what we are looking for.
The line that will forever resonate with me happens during a scene where Summer comes to Tom’s apartment. They had gotten in a fight about defining their relationship and Summer comes to apologize.
Tom: I need to know that you’re not going to wake up in the morning and feel differently.
Summer: And I can’t give you that. Nobody can.
And that is why this movie is so true. Relationships are great. No doubt about it. But if we’re always a Tom about them, we’ll always be left feeling hopeless and lost when they end. Of course…there are people who will stick around forever, and those will be the people you should always fight to keep in your life. But letting someone else define you can be so destructive, and I think (500) Days of Summer depicts that perfectly.