Do that thing with your tongue that makes me forget that you’re a bad guy. Like a really, really bad guy. But in that moment when we’re just two naked people fulfilling our physical needs instead of emotional. Even though we’re not on the same level in our minds, our bodies clearly didn’t get that memo. And the way they fit together is heaven.
Do that thing with your tongue that makes me stop thinking about the future and live in the here and now. Because I never live in the here and now. But with you everything momentarily stops and all I care about is this. This raw need to be nothing but vulnerable with you.
Do that thing with your tongue that makes me remember that my body isn’t as disgusting that I sometimes perceive it to be. You touching me like this makes me stop looking into the mirror and pointing out every single flaw. It makes me stop thinking I’m just a little too soft in places I should be more tone.
Do that thing with your tongue that makes me momentarily lose my breath. Not in that cute, you stopped my heart because you’re so adorable way. But in that breathless sexy way that only you can do when you’re making me feel like the most beautiful person in the world. When we’re in nothing but skin and letting ourselves indulge in each other.
Do that thing with your tongue that makes that temporarily makes me insane. Like the kinda crazy that’s actually scary. The one that makes me start to think that this is more than what we’re doing right now. And even though we have deal to use each other’s bodies every once and a while, my brain when you’re doing that thing with your tongue forgets to disconnect my heart from our actions.
Do that thing with your tongue that takes all the lonely out of me. Those nights without you and I’m struggling to remember what skin to skin contact feels like are difficult. And even though I’d rather suffer through them alone because I know doing it with you would only be disappointment, in these rare occasions we’re together the lonely temporarily disappears. You are the best temporary fix.
Do that thing with your tongue that makes me scream your name.
A name I hate saying out loud in any other situation. Because I can see my friends’ faces when I mention you. They know how bad you are for me but they don’t get to see us in these moments. And while logically I know everything they’re saying is right, the pure unfiltered sex that oozes out of your pores pulls me in every time.
Do that thing with your tongue that reminds me that there is life after heartbreak. We’re both coming off of some pretty shitty heartbreak. While I didn’t cause yours and you didn’t cause mine, when we’re together we forget about those other people who made us feel like we weren’t enough to fight for. We weren’t enough for their love anymore. Because our momentary rendezvous remind us that there’s a chance for love again even if it’s not with each other.
Do that thing with your tongue that makes me lose control. Of everything. On a good day, my need to control every situation is overbearing. But in that moment with you, you’re in control. You’re the boss. And I’m more than willing to hand the reigns to you. No one would believe you if you told them I let you be in charge. But I’m fine being submissive in this case.
Do that thing with your tongue that reminds me why this will continue to be my secret. Because you are a secret. Even if it doesn’t seem that way. I keep it under wraps because I know exactly the judgements that would follow if I told anyone. And while my friends, my real close friends would try to understand, they ultimately wouldn’t. And I don’t want anyone to tell me to not do this with you because right now I need it. I need you.
Do that thing with your tongue and keep doing that thing with your tongue. Keep doing it until we both can’t do it anymore. Till we decide that this is no longer an arrangement that works. And when that day comes I’ll be alright. I’ll know in my heart why we couldn’t. It’ll be an ending to something that was always fleeting.
But until then please keep doing that thing with your tongue.